IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

There are debates about importantness of history in providing information abou

#debates #importantness #history #information #abou
There are debates about
importantness
Replace the word
the importance
show examples
 of
history
 in providing information about current decades.
Although
 we can explain our modern
life
 through
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 of evolution, it may not be supportable in modern occupations or provide exact information.
History
 could be necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
explanation
Correct article usage
the explanation
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 of
evolution
Correct article usage
the evolution
show examples
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
life
as well as
 society,since there is a link between past and current
centeries
Correct your spelling
centres
 that can be noticed in historical
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 that are extremally used in
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
.
This
 evidences
as well as
 explorers allow us to learn
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 of not only ancient periods but
also
 current
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 through
evolution
Add an article
the evolution
show examples
 of human
being
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beings
show examples
.
For instance
, through historical artefacts and
Change the spelling
travellers
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travelers
Add a comma
travelers,
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 we know how we start to communicate with each other and
then
 with
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
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 citizens.
This
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These
show examples
 knowledges allow us to understand why and how we have
social
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a social
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life
.
Moreover
, there used to be explorers
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whose studies
such
 as about
universe
Correct article usage
the universe
show examples
 or the Earth based nowadays
scientific
Change preposition
on scientific
show examples
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 theories of Galileo Galilei and Newton about gravity are
appled
Correct your spelling
applied
 in
Correct article usage
the exloration
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exloration
Correct your spelling
exploration
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outter
Correct your spelling
outer
 space in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
NASA and similar organizations.
Therefore
 learning
history
 has a
signifficant
Correct your spelling
significant
 role in understanding our
life
 by using artefacts.
While
 in already known
fiels
Correct your spelling
fields
history
 is essential, it may not be applied in brand new occupations
such
 as PR or SMM and similar
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 industries tend to make
analyzez
Correct your spelling
analyses
 based on modern society rather
thansomething
Correct your spelling
than something
 ancinbt and not relevant.
For instance
, when 21st
centery
Correct your spelling
century
cemetery
 companies
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 do research, they concentrate on our citizens.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Your main ideas are apparent, but the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Aim to structure your essay with an introductory paragraph that clearly outlines your thesis and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on it.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and spelling errors. Proofreading your text can help minimize mistakes and improve your overall score.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, ensure they are clearly tied to your main ideas. This can help strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a complete response, discussing both the supportive and opposing views.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific examples, such as Galileo Galilei and Newton, to illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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