IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Self-employment is a growing trend and a quite enthusiastic lifestyle in the
twenty first
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twenty-first
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 century. Owing to
this
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 controversial issue, many
perefer
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prefer
 to
work
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 for themselves
instead
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 of working for a third party being an institution or a multi-national
business
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.
Actually
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Actually,
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 there are several logical reasons for becoming self-employed including the flexibility it provides,
however
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, there are
also
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 some negative
sided
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sides
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such
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 as the risk of
bankrupcy
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
 which require extreme diligence. On the
one
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 hand, being self-employed offers
an
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apply
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unmatched flexibility in the workplace to a person. Since the self-employed selects the
work
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 time and location, it brings about immense relief and reduces stress tremendously.
Furthermore
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, there will be more time to spend with the family and to cherish the beauties of life or even
one
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 can opt for
work
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 in their house.
While
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 people who are working for an organization face heavy hurdles and numerous obstacles to
receive
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receiving
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promotion
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a promotion
the promotion
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, there would be literally no barriers
for
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to
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 prosperity and growth, and
sky
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the sky
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will
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would
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 be the ceiling.
For instance
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, a well-designed
business
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plan
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 which includes
the
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apply
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very nuanced details and risks, has the potential of
transfering
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transferring
transforming
 an innovative person to a billionaire in a rather short
time-scale
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time scale
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.
On the other hand
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, if
one
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 decides to become self-employed, there would be
vast
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a vast
the vast
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 amount of responsibilities on his
shoulder
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shoulders
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.
Considerig
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Considering
 that an institution employs many people to manage various responsibilities, the pressure of all those tasks would be on the owner in self-employment.
Moreover
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,
this
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 not only requires multi-tasking, but
also
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this
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 pressure will cause serious mental dysfunctions. Another important point would be that the pension, sick leave and insurance are all on the self-employed
business
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 owner,
while
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 these social welfare options are totally on the organization if
one
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 selects to
work
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 there.
Hence
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, If the
business
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 fails to make money and never becomes profitable,
as
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for
show examples
an
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apply
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example, the whole family will face distress and destitution and the owner can witness bankruptcy. In conclusion, I conditionally support becoming self-employed only if the
business
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plan
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 is designed with extreme diligence and in consultation with economic and financial
master minds
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masterminds
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 should calculate all the risks associated with
Correct article usage
apply
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the
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apply
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self-employment and it is firmly recommended to have a
plan
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 B
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at
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in
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at
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disposal
Correct pronoun usage
your disposal
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 in case it
appeared
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appears
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 that something in
plan
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 A does not function properly.

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task response
Your essay covers the main points of the topic and offers a solid response. However, some points could be more developed, and the inclusion of more specific examples could strengthen your essay further. For example, detailing a real-life case of a successful self-employed individual could add weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some small grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that slightly disrupt the flow of your writing. Investing time in proofreading your work and refining your sentence structures can help improve the cohesion and overall readability. For example, instead of 'there are several logical reasons for becoming self-employed including the flexibility it provides,' you might say 'several logical reasons, such as the flexibility it provides, make self-employment an attractive option.'
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion. This greatly aids the reader in understanding your position and the scope of your discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and present clear and comprehensive ideas on why people choose self-employment, as well as the disadvantages.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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