Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Self-employment is a growing trend and a quite enthusiastic lifestyle in the
twenty first
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twenty-first
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century. Owing to
this
controversial issue, many
perefer
Correct your spelling
prefer
to
work
for themselves
instead
of working for a third party being an institution or a multi-national
business
.
Actually
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Actually,
show examples
there are several logical reasons for becoming self-employed including the flexibility it provides,
however
, there are
also
some negative
sided
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sides
show examples
such
as the risk of
bankrupcy
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
which require extreme diligence. On the
one
hand, being self-employed offers
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
unmatched flexibility in the workplace to a person. Since the self-employed selects the
work
time and location, it brings about immense relief and reduces stress tremendously.
Furthermore
, there will be more time to spend with the family and to cherish the beauties of life or even
one
can opt for
work
in their house.
While
people who are working for an organization face heavy hurdles and numerous obstacles to
receive
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receiving
show examples
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
show examples
, there would be literally no barriers
for
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to
show examples
prosperity and growth, and
sky
Add an article
the sky
show examples
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be the ceiling.
For instance
, a well-designed
business
plan
which includes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very nuanced details and risks, has the potential of
transfering
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transferring
transforming
an innovative person to a billionaire in a rather short
time-scale
Correct your spelling
time scale
show examples
.
On the other hand
, if
one
decides to become self-employed, there would be
vast
Add an article
a vast
the vast
show examples
amount of responsibilities on his
shoulder
Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
show examples
.
Considerig
Correct your spelling
Considering
that an institution employs many people to manage various responsibilities, the pressure of all those tasks would be on the owner in self-employment.
Moreover
,
this
not only requires multi-tasking, but
also
this
pressure will cause serious mental dysfunctions. Another important point would be that the pension, sick leave and insurance are all on the self-employed
business
owner,
while
these social welfare options are totally on the organization if
one
selects to
work
there.
Hence
, If the
business
fails to make money and never becomes profitable,
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, the whole family will face distress and destitution and the owner can witness bankruptcy. In conclusion, I conditionally support becoming self-employed only if the
business
plan
is designed with extreme diligence and in consultation with economic and financial
master minds
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masterminds
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
this
should calculate all the risks associated with
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-employment and it is firmly recommended to have a
plan
B
Change preposition
at
show examples
in
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at
show examples
disposal
Correct pronoun usage
your disposal
show examples
in case it
appeared
Wrong verb form
appears
show examples
that something in
plan
A does not function properly.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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task response
Your essay covers the main points of the topic and offers a solid response. However, some points could be more developed, and the inclusion of more specific examples could strengthen your essay further. For example, detailing a real-life case of a successful self-employed individual could add weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some small grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that slightly disrupt the flow of your writing. Investing time in proofreading your work and refining your sentence structures can help improve the cohesion and overall readability. For example, instead of 'there are several logical reasons for becoming self-employed including the flexibility it provides,' you might say 'several logical reasons, such as the flexibility it provides, make self-employment an attractive option.'
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion. This greatly aids the reader in understanding your position and the scope of your discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and present clear and comprehensive ideas on why people choose self-employment, as well as the disadvantages.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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