Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Self-employment is a growing trend and a quite enthusiastic lifestyle in the
twenty first
century. Owing to Add a hyphen
twenty-first
this
controversial issue, many perefer
to Correct your spelling
prefer
work
for themselves instead
of working for a third party being an institution or a multi-national business
. Actually
there are several logical reasons for becoming self-employed including the flexibility it provides, Add a comma
Actually,
however
, there are also
some negative sided
Replace the word
sides
such
as the risk of bankrupcy
which require extreme diligence.
On the Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
one
hand, being self-employed offers an
unmatched flexibility in the workplace to a person. Since the self-employed selects the Remove the article
apply
work
time and location, it brings about immense relief and reduces stress tremendously. Furthermore
, there will be more time to spend with the family and to cherish the beauties of life or even one
can opt for work
in their house. While
people who are working for an organization face heavy hurdles and numerous obstacles to receive
Change the verb form
receiving
promotion
, there would be literally no barriers Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
for
prosperity and growth, and Change preposition
to
sky
Add an article
the sky
will
be the ceiling. Wrong verb form
would
For instance
, a well-designed business
plan
which includes the
very nuanced details and risks, has the potential of Correct article usage
apply
transfering
an innovative person to a billionaire in a rather short Correct your spelling
transferring
transforming
time-scale
.
Correct your spelling
time scale
On the other hand
, if one
decides to become self-employed, there would be vast
amount of responsibilities on his Add an article
a vast
the vast
shoulder
. Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
Considerig
that an institution employs many people to manage various responsibilities, the pressure of all those tasks would be on the owner in self-employment. Correct your spelling
Considering
Moreover
, this
not only requires multi-tasking, but also
this
pressure will cause serious mental dysfunctions. Another important point would be that the pension, sick leave and insurance are all on the self-employed business
owner, while
these social welfare options are totally on the organization if one
selects to work
there. Hence
, If the business
fails to make money and never becomes profitable, as
Change preposition
for
an
example, the whole family will face distress and destitution and the owner can witness bankruptcy.
In conclusion, I conditionally support becoming self-employed only if the Correct article usage
apply
business
plan
is designed with extreme diligence and in consultation with economic and financial master minds
. Correct your spelling
masterminds
Furthermore
, this
should calculate all the risks associated with Correct article usage
apply
the
self-employment and it is firmly recommended to have a Correct article usage
apply
plan
B Change preposition
at
in
Change preposition
at
disposal
in case it Correct pronoun usage
your disposal
appeared
that something in Wrong verb form
appears
plan
A does not function properly.Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on
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task response
Your essay covers the main points of the topic and offers a solid response. However, some points could be more developed, and the inclusion of more specific examples could strengthen your essay further. For example, detailing a real-life case of a successful self-employed individual could add weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some small grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that slightly disrupt the flow of your writing. Investing time in proofreading your work and refining your sentence structures can help improve the cohesion and overall readability. For example, instead of 'there are several logical reasons for becoming self-employed including the flexibility it provides,' you might say 'several logical reasons, such as the flexibility it provides, make self-employment an attractive option.'
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion. This greatly aids the reader in understanding your position and the scope of your discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and present clear and comprehensive ideas on why people choose self-employment, as well as the disadvantages.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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