some people think that people should not take risk while others keep with an opposite sides. Discuss both views and give your oppinion

#people #risk #oppinion

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It is true that taking

risks

is crucial in people's own and professional lives.

While

there are some drawbacks of taking

risks

, I believe that without

risks

people will not achieve higher rewards or success. On the one hand, there are some obvious disadvantages of taking

risks

Firstly

, in case of failure, they might lose confidence and will be frightened

taking

Change preposition

of taking

show examples

even small

risks

. It means that they will not be able to make accurate decisions in their own lives.

Secondly

, if the person

Verb problem

has

show examples

just only got married

as well as

risks

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a lot of money in his or her

proffesional

Correct your spelling

professional

life and loses it, it might lead to the separation of young couples.

Finally

, you might get stress and health problems by risking.

For example

lets

Replace the word

let's

let us

show examples

imagine that you lost a huge amount of money, what would happen

than

Replace the word

then

show examples

? The

amswer

Correct your spelling

answer

is obvious, you would get nervous or just damage your mentality by concerning about it.

However

, I

truely

Correct your spelling

truly

believe that

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

. As we all know

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

almost every business requires some

risks

, which means you cannot attain huge achievements without

risking

Replace the word

risk

show examples

. Take the founder of Alibaba as an illustration, he first risked with 100, 000 dollars and failed , but he did not give up and made another effort and invested

1million

Correct your spelling

1 million

dollars, which was his first success and the reason of ehy the Alibaba company is now well-known.

Furthermore

, in terms of personal life, people do some sports that are quite risky

such

as sky-diving

due to

the fact that they get unattainable experiences and feelings from it.

Additionally

, if your risk is successful, you will obtain confidence

as well as

you will

then

be able to make true decisions. In conclusion,

while

there are some disadvantages of

risking

Replace the word

risk

show examples

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they are temporary and outweighed by benefits.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

The introduction presents the topic and states a clear position. However, there are some minor grammatical issues that should be addressed for better clarity.

task achievement

Both views are discussed, but there could be more balance. The essay leans more towards the benefits of taking risks. Try to dedicate equal attention to both viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

The essay generally follows a logical structure, but there are occasional jumps in thought. Ensure smooth transitional sentences to maintain coherence.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion could be more elaborate. Summarize the main points in a more comprehensive manner to reinforce your position.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to illustrate points. For instance, you could mention famous risk-takers or landmark achievements due to taking risks.

task achievement

You have addressed the task prompt by discussing both views and providing your opinion.

task achievement

The essay contains relevant examples that illustrate the points being made, which strengthens the argument.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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some people think that people should not take risk while others keep with an opposite sides. Discuss both views and give your oppinion

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Protecting the Environment is the responsibility of the government. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.