IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of students prefer to study in the same city with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. Eventually, I will do
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
show examples
 between the advantages and disadvantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living away from
home
Use synonyms
 during university and I will draw my own conclusion. As for the advantages, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of students believe it is positive because they will be more independent, and have their
home
Use synonyms
 and specific routine.
Also
Linking Words
, they can have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of friends in the same university. In terms
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 disadvantages, living away from
home
Use synonyms
 is difficult because you must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 and it will consume more money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is hard for the emotional students living far from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 because they need to hear and listen
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
 from
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 parents upward they felling and have more
exatied
Correct your spelling
excited
 to study.
Morefuther
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it is hard to attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all family
gathering
Replace the word
gatherings
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
dinner
Correct article usage
a dinner
show examples
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
show examples
 or
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
morning breakfast. In conclusion, since there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 In my opinion I think living away from
home
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a difficult
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
 to do it.
However
Linking Words
 the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
change
Replace the word
changed
show examples
 from one to one around my family no one
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
study or
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in
anther
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
 city.
Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This helps to set clear expectations.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, discuss a situation where living away helped you become more independent.
task achievement
Improve sentence structure and grammar. Consider saying: 'Living away from home can be challenging as it often involves higher costs.'
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to compare the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, showing a good understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both the emotional and practical aspects of living away from home, making your essay comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: