IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays scientists and tourists are allowed to travel to remote natural environments. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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fast growing
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fast-growing
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era
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era,
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 travel has become an easy option. Scientists and
tourists
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 are travelling to remote and
off beat
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off-beat
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 locations.
This
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 presents both opportunities
as well as
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 challenges.
While
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 there are notable benefits of travel,
such
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 as scientific discoveries and economic growth, there are
also
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 significant drawbacks, including environmental degradation and disruption of
local
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the local
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 ecosystem.
This
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 essay will explore both sides to determine if advantages outweigh the the disadvantages. One of the major benefits of scientists travelling to
such
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 natural environments is the opportunity for groundbreaking discoveries. Travelling to
such
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places
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them understand the ecosystem and habitat of the rare species living in that ecosystem.
Additionally
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 being in
such
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places
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them understand the climatic situation which is
otherwise
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 inaccessible.
For instance
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, the research conducted in
Arctic
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the Arctic
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 and Antarctic regions has provided crucial insights into climate change and its impact on global weather
pattern
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patterns
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.
Such
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 discoveries and revelations
helps
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help
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in protecting
Wrong verb form
protect
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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vulnerable species and habitats. Tourism, when managed responsibly can help in boosting the economy of remote
places
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. It can help in providing financial support to local communities by creating various job opportunities.
For instance
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, in Masai Mara eco-tourism has boosted the economy significantly by attracting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international visitors. The profits from tourism
has
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have
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 been reinvested in advancements of local communities.
Moreover
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, providing opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
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 people to enjoy and appreciate
such
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 natural beauty on earth is
once-in-a-lifetime
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a once-in-a-lifetime
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 experience in every person's life. As every coin has two sides, the disadvantages of
this
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 travel cannot be ignored. The influx of
tourist
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tourists
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 can lead
of
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to
show examples
 environmental degradation, including pollution and habitat destruction.
Furthermore
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, the presence of
tourists
Use synonyms
also
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 disturbs the wildlife.
Moreover
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, the fact that
such
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 remote locations might have harsh
climate
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climates
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 and natural
phenomenon
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phenomena
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such
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 as
avalanche
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avalanches
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 or snow storms, the visitors jeopardise their lives by travelling to these
places
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. In conclusion, there are substantial benefits of scientists and
tourists
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 travelling to
such
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 remote
places
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,
such
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 as advancing scientific knowledge and boosting
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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,
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however
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however,
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 these should be carefully weighed against the potential harms. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and having regulations and directing
tourists
Use synonyms
 can help mitigate the inherent dangers that might happen.

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task achievement
While your essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of scientists and tourists traveling to remote natural environments, ensure that each point is fully elaborated. For example, discussing the long-term economic benefits or how tourism can be sustainable could add depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured logically with clear paragraphs, but adding clear transitions between some sections will help improve the overall flow. Phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'In addition' can help readers follow along more easily.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and well-suited to your points. To improve further, more specific data or quotations from experts could add a layer of credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, establishing the key points you will discuss.
task achievement
You effectively balance both sides of the argument, providing a holistic view of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding paragraph succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, creating a strong finish to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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