In some developing countries, disabled people are not given proper access to public and private facilities. What are some possible effects of this problem and solutions to it

In numerous developing nations, individuals with
disabilities
often face issues with public access and private facilities.
This
problem leads to a poor quality of life and discrimination from the community.
This
essay will provide possible negative effects and solutions for them. The first and most significant problem of being a disabled person is the limits of opportunities available for being an independent person. They often rely on
people
such
as their relatives or friends to help with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lack of mobility and finances. Discrimination is another major issue,
severely
Correct pronoun usage
that severely
show examples
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
the mental health and self-esteem of
people
with
disabilities
. Discrimination is another major issue,
severely
Correct pronoun usage
that severely
show examples
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
the mental health and self-esteem of
people
with
disabilities
.
For instance
, in many developing countries, disabled individuals face social exclusion in schools and workplaces, which can lead to depression and anxiety. Launching the volunteering programs, provided with the new assistive technologies is the solution for the limited opportunities of disabled
people
.
Due to
modern innovative technology like artificial intelligence, the government could have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
provided prosthetic parts of the body, which could reduce many problems related to movement.
Furthermore
, public education and stigma reduction campaigns could significantly increase awareness and understanding among the general public. By educating
people
about the challenges faced by disabled individuals, these campaigns can foster a more inclusive society. In conclusion, the lack of proper access to public and private facilities in many developing countries can have severe consequences for
people
with
disabilities
and society as a whole.
However
, through a combination of public awareness and targeted support programs, it is possible to create a more inclusive and accessible environment.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

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task response
While your response covers the key points, you should expand on some of your main points, offering more specific examples and detailing your arguments to improve your score in Task Response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider merging or rephrasing sentences for greater fluency and reducing repetition, such as in your point about discrimination.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas, outlining both problems and solutions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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