Task 2 Some people think that competition at work,at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more,rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your opinion
Nowadays
competition
is
Verb problem
has
crucial
role Add an article
a crucial
to encourage
Change preposition
in encouraging
people
to success
Replace the word
succeed
ana
develop.
Some Correct your spelling
and
people
consider that competition
at work
,school and in regular life is good
thing.
Others believe that we must Add an article
a good
try
collaborate more Add the particle
try to
instead
of competition
against each other.
Replace the word
competing
This
essay will analyse this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
The competition
assist
Change the verb form
assists
people
to encourage themselves and improve the quality in different fields.In other words
, when employees working
hard,they Wrong verb form
work
are getting
Wrong verb form
get
promotion
.Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
In
addition
it is essential for Add a comma
addition,
manager
to choose one to make them Fix the agreement mistake
managers
work
hard next time.For example
, the manager must attract worker
for the Fix the agreement mistake
workers
competition
because they will learn for the future.
On the other hand
,if individuals learn how to collaboration
,they can help each other in different ways.After Replace the word
collaborate
people
collaborate at work
, people
will do amazing work
in less period. In addition
,it appears that collaboration in various fields help
society to develop and improve. Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
For example
, in China
there is research about students Add a comma
China,
they
did a project in Correct pronoun usage
who
few
days when they Correct article usage
a few
collaborate
.
In conclusion, there are easy answers to Wrong verb form
collaborated
this
question.On balance,however
, I tend
believe that Add the particle
tend to
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
competition
is essential for people
how
want to be successful in their life ,Correct word choice
who
the
collaboration is Correct article usage
apply
better
way to develop.Add an article
a better
the better
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task achievement
To improve Task Response, try to provide more balanced arguments for both sides. While you did support both views, giving more depth to the cooperation viewpoint will round out your argument.
coherence cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Your essay could benefit from clearer transitional phrases between ideas and sections.
task achievement
In terms of idea clarity, focusing on elaborating and giving more comprehensive explanations for each point would help. Delve deeper into the 'why' or 'how' aspects for a more thorough discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You used relevant specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is easy to follow, making it accessible to the reader.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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