Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Reduction in environmental pollution and housing problems should be the major concern of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to mitigate poor health conditions and diseases. I , completely agree with
this
statement that
government
should consider
this
as a serious matter and take some useful actions for the same.
To begin
with, air pollution is increasing every passing day. To alleviate it
government
should introduce some strict laws like less use of vehicles and
ban
Correct article usage
a ban
show examples
on crackers. Air quality is decreasing and
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffering from asthma
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
becoming really common now.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the biggest act that can be taken by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
and
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
man
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is to plant more and more trees. More the greenery is in your area, more the pure air is. Apparently ,
this
will lead to
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
and healthy environment.
Moreover
, the housing problems
also
require
Correct article usage
a substanitial
show examples
substanitial
Correct your spelling
substantial
amount of attention.
People
who are unable to afford formal housing are forced to live in slum areas with
inadeqaute
Correct your spelling
inadequate
surroundings lacking in basic
ameneties
Correct your spelling
amenities
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should start partnering with constructors to build affordable
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
so
people
can reside
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
easily with all
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
and healthy
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Such
initiative
Correct article usage
an initiative
show examples
by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can reduce many diseases when
people
from slum areas
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
migrate to urban cities.
To conclude
, if
government
introduces
such
laws
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
people
should follow them seriously.
Also
, if
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
disobey or fail to follow the rules
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
higher authorities should impose
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
and take some strict action against them. Awareness
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
can
also
play
Correct article usage
a promienent
show examples
promienent
Correct your spelling
prominent
role in educating youth and creating a safer and healthy environment.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion score, work on organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Try using more cohesive devices.
task achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by adding more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: