In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Being a
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
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or a tenant has always been a controversial issue and the decision definitely depends on personal preferences and the financial situation of the housing market. Many people regard the
ownership
of their living place as their life priority
due to
the
security
it provides. I am of the positive view
considering
Change preposition
of considering
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owning a
home
since it brings about peace of mind. On the one hand, having your
home
at
Change preposition
under
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your
ownership
provides
the
Correct article usage
an
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unmatchable feeling of
security
.
For instance
, if a family purchases a house, they would not
require
Wrong verb form
be required
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to move from
a
Correct determiner usage
one
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place to another
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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constantly. It is
for
this
reason that they will have more stability in their lifestyle and are empowered to plan for the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
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.
Thus
, the priceless sense of
security
has the potential to open brighter horizons for the family members, if they are sufficiently ambitious to seize the opportunities and pursue their long-run life targets.
On the other hand
, I do believe that
home
ownership
is a tremendous positive phenomenon. If a family removes the shelter from their daily concerns
for
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, for
show examples
instance, they certainly benefit from more peace of mind.
Furthermore
, with the lower levels of stress and anxieties considering their living place in terms of annual rent increase or figuring out alternative
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
they can secure extra time to
decidate
Correct your spelling
decide
dedicate
to their hobbies.
Therefore
, the reduction of stress
level
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levels
show examples
and the peace of mind that
home
ownership
brings about are invaluable and ought to be treasured. In conclusion, people
prirotize
Correct your spelling
prioritise
home
ownership
due to
the enormous benefits of
security
which is attached to it and
this
is unequivocally an immense positive achievement in my humble viewpoint.
Moreover
, the younger generation ought to plan ahead and financially be frugal and behave thrifty in order to put sufficient amounts of income aside to be able to purchase their dream homes when the market timing is right for the buyer.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the issues and offers relevant points to support your views. However, try to incorporate more specific examples to enhance your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a coherent flow. Some minor adjustments to transition phrases or connecting sentences can improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-formulated and effectively frame your essay, giving it a balanced and complete structure.
task achievement
You have provided clear ideas that directly respond to the prompt, which highlights your understanding of the task.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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