Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is still gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?
Even if there is a lot of
work out
Correct your spelling
workout
centers
, Change the spelling
centres
passive
Correct article usage
a passive
lifestyle
is becoming widespread worldwide. This
essay will discuss the problems
associated with sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
lifestyle
and suggest possible solutions to address them. Inactive
way of living causes an increase in Correct article usage
An inactive
health
problems
such
as obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular
diseases among the population. Correct word choice
and cardiovascular
The
possible solution could be inserting mandatory physical activities in people’s lives by equipping their workplaces with special tools for their physical training.
The most significant issue arising from a sedentary Correct article usage
A
lifestyle
is the adverse impact on health
. People who lead a non-active lifestyle
often suffer from chronic diseases. For instance
, research made by professors from the Baylor College of Medicine shows that 65% of people with inactive lifestyle
have way more Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
health
risks compared to those who do sports on daily
basis.
Creating more opportunities for physical activity in daily life is crucial. Facilities Correct article usage
a daily
such
as gyms, standing desks, and organizing regular fitness sessions should be provided for employees. Furthermore
, integrating physical education into school curriculums can instill
healthy habits from a young age. Extracurricular sports programs can Change the spelling
instil
also
play a significant role in promoting healthy
Add an article
a healthy
lifestyle
among the students. For example
, BBC news
has reported that people who go to schools and workplaces that have better sports facilities have a lower risk of developing Capitalize word
News
health
problems
.
In conclusion, the increasing prevalence of a sedentary lifestyle
,
presents serious Remove the comma
apply
health
problems
. However
, by creating more opportunities for physical activities in people’s daily routine
, Fix the agreement mistake
routines
this
issue can be mitigated.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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coherence cohesion
Although your ideas flow logically, adding more synonyms and varying sentence structures could enhance readability. Aim for a slightly more complex structure in some sentences.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. You have a strong introduction and conclusion, but remember to use more linking words within paragraphs.
task achievement
While your essay effectively addresses the prompt, expanding on some points with more detailed examples would strengthen it. For instance, explain how standing desks and regular fitness sessions could be implemented in various workplaces.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage and your conclusion neatly ties the essay together.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the prompt sufficiently by discussing both problems and solutions related to a sedentary lifestyle.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example from Baylor College of Medicine, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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