Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many believe that

music

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has the power to unite

people

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from diverse backgrounds and age groups, promoting, mutual understanding and empathy.

This

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essay will explore the extent to which it can indeed bridge the gaps between different cultures and ages. One significant way

music

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brings

people

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together is

providing

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by providing

show examples

a common ground for shared experiences.

For instance

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, global

music

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festivals like Coachella and Lollapalooza attract audiences from various countries, demonstrating how different cultures can connect through a shared love for

music

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Additionally

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, genres

such

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as pop and rock have international appeal, with artists like BTS and Ed Sheeran amassing fans worldwide, illustrating how

music

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can overcome cultural barriers and create a sense of global community.Personal experiences

also

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reflect

this

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; attending concerts or

music

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events often involves meeting

people

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from diverse backgrounds and

thus

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establishing connections.

Music

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also

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bridges generational gaps, allowing different age groups to interact and relate to each other.

For example

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, classic rock bands like The Beatles continue to influence younger generations, with modern artists often incorporating elements of past musical styles. In family settings,

music

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can be a bonding activity that spans generations; playing old songs or engaging in musical activities together often creates shared moments of joy and understanding. In conclusion,

music

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obviously serves as a powerful tool for connecting

people

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across cultural and generational divides. Its ability to create shared experiences and foster understanding among diverse groups highlights its role as a universal language.

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coherence & cohesion

Although the essay presents a clear response to the task, incorporating linking words or phrases between paragraphs will improve cohesion. Try using words like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', or 'Additionally' to emphasize transitions and maintain smooth flow.

coherence & cohesion

Some minor grammatical errors and lack of commas resulted in awkward sentences. Proofreading and practicing punctuation will enhance readability. For example: 'providing a common ground for shared experiences.' should be 'by providing'. Or 'Personal experiences also reflect this;' should be 'Personal experiences also reflect this, showing that'.

coherence & cohesion

Make a stronger case by finalizing your points with a summarizing statement before concluding. For example, you could summarize the shared experiences and bridging gaps points before concluding the essay.

task achievement

Instead of 'Many believe,' clearly state 'I believe' or 'It is commonly believed.' This will make your position stronger.

task achievement

The essay is well-organized with clear ideas and relevant examples to support the argument. Using specific examples like Coachella and bands like BTS made the points more concrete.

coherence & cohesion

The introduction and conclusion both effectively frame the essay, presenting a clear topic and summarizing the main argument efficiently.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

239 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

With the advent of social media, more people are getting their news online instead of from print media. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for people who read news online.

Some psychologist recommend that to overcome stresses in daily life we should do nothing at all for a period of time of the day. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a jobstraight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many children who are home-schooled are not prepared for university at the same rate of children in government-funded schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?