IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You have a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and dpoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired.Write a letter to the company.

#camera #home #dpoke #company #representative #week
Dear Sir/Madam
Add the comma(s)
,
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I am writing to
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 representative
a
Change preposition
about a
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complaint
with
Change preposition
from
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 you regarding poor service.Let me introduce yourself.My full name is Komiljonova Komilaxon.I am your regular customer. I went
your
Change preposition
to your
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 shop on Thursday,25th July.
While
 I was in your shop I bought a new video
camera
 for my family
trip
.We have been waiting
this
Change preposition
for this
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 day for a long time,so we wanted to go on a family
trip
or
Correct your spelling
for
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 the first time.That's why,I decided to take pictures and videos of the events of our
trip
. I bought
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
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 well
as
Correct word choice
but
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 I found it had some problems when I got home.Suddenly,I returned it and spoke to the company representative five days ago.But the
camera
 has still not been repaired.They fixed things from previous customers,but they still fix mine.They said that we will fix it in two days.
However
,five days passed.There is still no news from them.I
also
 postponed our family
trip
 because of a broken video
camera
.When my mother heard
this
 news,she was very angry.I and my mother both work.So we took time off from work to travel.But it was not what we thought
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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 I am asking you to fix my
camera
 as soon as possible.I would be grateful if you could my
camera
 soon.I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully Komiljonova Komilaxon
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Structure the letter more clearly by having distinct paragraphs for the introduction, the problem description, and the requested action.
task achievement
Elaborate on the specific problems with the camera to provide a more complete response.
task achievement
Improve the tone by making it slightly more formal and polite, especially in the request section.
coherence cohesion
The letter includes essential elements such as greeting, problem description, and closing.
task achievement
The letter shows a clear intent for a resolution by requesting the repair to be expedited.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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