An increasing number of people choose to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people want to change the way they look? Is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, physical exercises have a great impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human development. Few masses tend to do little and no physical activities
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to health issues.
This
essay will analyse
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
for
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
statement
along with
solutions in the subsequent paragraphs. Certainly, an association of multifarious reasons behind
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
notion.
However
, first and foremost is
hectic
Correct article usage
a hectic
show examples
roster and sedentary lifestyle. To explain it more, demographers succumb
into
Change preposition
to
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umpteen ailments
due to
their busy schedules. In order to fulfil endless demands and ambitions, they work from dusk till dawn. In
this
case, they lack essential sports
as well as
diet which cripple the body structure. In the 2022 survey, conducted by
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Health Organisation around 60% of Indian students are obese as the academic institutions do not provide any physical education.
Subsequently
, another factor
that is
worth mentioning is
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
,
while
the prominent one is time management. To elaborate on it, individuals should learn to balance their professional and personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should
also
take
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
show examples
to reduce the working hours that make people feasible to undertake additional tasks. Higher authorities must organise seminars and encourage
populace
Add an article
the populace
show examples
to enlist themselves for
such
advantageous events.
For instance
,
according to
a 2019 survey in India around 40% of residential areas
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
parks,
hence
citizens become able to remain robust by doing exercises. In conclusion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should take steps to create awareness among citizens about the merits of games and sports. It supplies
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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to the country that
uplift
Change the verb form
uplifts
show examples
the economy
as well as
the society.
Submitted by harshitabangar77777 on

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task response
Focus on strengthening your argument by explicitly stating the main causes and solutions to the issue. Stick to a clear structure, like stating 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' etc., to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should maintain a tighter logical flow. Aim to improve paragraph coherence by ensuring each paragraph builds on the previous one clearly. Transitional phrases should be used more effectively.
task response
Provide more specific examples that directly relate to your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively summarizing the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a formal tone and uses a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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