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Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there is more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

#people #house #advantage #apartment
Individuals may choose
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 in a
house
 or an apartment based on their taste and budget.
Although
, living in a
house
 could be so attractive ,from my point of view ,staying in a flat is more beneficial. On the one hand, a
house
 is a reasonable place since it can provide more convenience and privacy for
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 residents. To illustrate more, children can enjoy playing in a private and safe green area and adults can communicate with their neighbors
while
 they keep their garden.
However
, not everyone can afford to purchase a big
house
 and not everyone
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 do
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 maintenance job.
For instance
, my parents have to pay a lot of money each month to keep their
house
.
Therefore
,
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
 of a
house
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 merits.
On the other hand
, a flat not only can be a safe and secure place for its people, but
also
 it is more affordable. Most of the flats have a guard to watch the whole building every time and provide enough security for building residents.
Moreover
, most of the apartments have some amenities including a gym and a pool. So individuals can use
this facilities
Change the determiner
this facility
these facilities
show examples
while
 they communicate with other people and make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new friends. Needless to mention, some flats have spectacular views of a park, river or city which can satisfy the residents and elevate their moods. In a nutshell,
Although
 both
house
 and flat provide some benefits for their people, I believe
leaving
Verb problem
living
show examples
 in an apartment is calmer, simpler and more affordable.
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grammar spelling
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors, such as "for it's residents" which should be "for its residents" and "it’s merits" which should be "its merits."
task response
Expand on the advantages of living in a house with more specific examples to balance the argument.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the arguments.
logical structure
The main points are well organized and supported with relevant examples, which helps in conveying the ideas clearly and logically.
specific examples
The essay gives specific benefits of living in an apartment, such as security, amenities, and views, which make the argument more persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • maintenance costs
  • upkeep
  • amenities
  • security
  • lock-and-leave lifestyle
  • commute
  • affordable
  • shared walls
  • suburbs
  • outdoor area
  • restrictions
  • responsibilities
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