Well, mentioning to this topic, the first thing springs to my mind is our trip going to Vung Tau. My friend and I planned for this trip 1 week before, and

Well, mentioning
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
topic, the first thing
springs
Correct pronoun usage
that springs
show examples
to my mind is our trip
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to Vung Tau. My friend and I planned for
this
trip 1 week before, and we were really excited that we couldn’t sleep
in
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apply
show examples
the previous night. That’s why my team set off really soon, at 4 A.M. when we started, the weather was mild, with
small
Correct word choice
little
show examples
wind and the Sun just
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
out.
However
, after 2 hours, the sky became darker and darker, with strong winds and black clouds. At
first,
we thought it was OK to continue, but the situation was
worser
Correct your spelling
worse
because of the
rain
cats and dogs. We had to go to the stop to wait until the
rain
let up. After 1 hour, the
rain
was still heavy and I was really exhausted and
hangry
Correct your spelling
hungry
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that we didn’t have anything to eat.
Although
the
rain
Add a verb
rain is
rain was
show examples
still heavy, we still decided to go to Vung Tau. we were
tired
Rephrase
so tired
show examples
that couldn’t go anywhere and had to sleep in
hotel
Add an article
the hotel
a hotel
show examples
to recharge
the
Change the word
our
show examples
batteries.
Finally
, we still had a great trip,
although
it made me exhausted.
However
,
this
bad weather condition left me
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
great memory.
Submitted by weezel on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to start with a clear introduction and end your essay with a conclusion. This helps guide the reader and makes your essay more engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on forming more complex sentences and avoid using too many short, simple sentences. This can improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific details or examples to strengthen your main points.
Task Achievement
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary usage. For example, 'hangry' and 'worser' are not correct in formal writing. Use 'hungry' and 'worse' respectively.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and stays on point throughout.
Task Achievement
Details like the weather conditions and timing enhance the vividness of the narrative.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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