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Band 5

Some people believe that authorities need to plan for more vertical cities with really tall buildings since our land for the expansion of cities is limited. What are the advantages and disadvantages, in your opinion, of vertical cities that have really tall buildings and everything within these buildings? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #authorities #plan #cities #buildings #land #expansion
In many societies, people hold the opinion that
due to
 the limited amount of residential land, it is more useful to design and
consequently
 construct vertical cities. There are some advantages and disadvantages of
this
 fact which will be covered below in
this
 essay. Personally, I am inclined to agree with
this
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and think that skyscrapers are compact and can include all necessary facilities. First and foremost, there is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enormous population growth on our Planet and it constantly rising. If to start investigating demographic changes, it is
vivid
Correct article usage
a vivid
show examples
 fact that during the past few centuries, amount of people in general
tend
Wrong verb form
has tended
show examples
 to increase.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
this
 relates to China, Vietnam and India. The government of these areas has the policy to build multistory apartments. They are compact and some of them can contain more than
10 000
Correct your spelling
10,000
 people, and have access to many amenities
such
 as parking slots, gyms and coffees.
It is clear that
this
 idea of creating these buildings helps solve demographic issues and needs of the residents.
On the other hand
, high-rise buildings are fragile. Making towers strong and resistant to cataclysms should be the core aim during the planning and design of these kinds of projects. To be more precise, countries located in high seismic zones like Japan and Turkey go through catastrophic challenges during earthquakes. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, thousands of buildings are destroyed and buried vast amount of people’s lives
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
 In conclusion, vertical cities are the best decision for countries with a
high densely
Replace the word
highly dense
show examples
 population though the architecture should be secure and robust.
Submitted by aliyarova.n on

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from providing more specific and varied examples to support the points made. Consider including examples from different countries, industries, or historical periods to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that sentences within a paragraph are logically connected. This can help improve the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points to be discussed and summarizing the arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of vertical cities, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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