Some people believe that nowadays we have too many chocies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Today, individuals have so many
chocies
compared to past decades. I completely agree with the idea that we have so many Correct your spelling
choices
options
on variety
of subjects. Add an article
a variety
This
essay will explain what I thought.
There are several reason
why people have many Change to a plural noun
reasons
options
nowadays. Firstly
, technology has been
improved over the past century and it has Unnecessary verb
apply
been
impacted Unnecessary verb
apply
to
our Change preposition
apply
lifes
. Correct your spelling
lives
Secondly
, the world around us has been
more globilising every day and Verb problem
become
this
effect
our Correct your spelling
affects
chocies
too. Our decisions Correct your spelling
choices
wider
extremely than past because the world surrounding around Add a missing verb
are wider
are
more complex nowadays. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
For example
, we are able to choose studying or working in foreign
country. And Add an article
a foreign
finally
, we generally can access so many thing
without any difficulty and Change to a plural noun
things
this
make
our decision Change the verb form
makes
progress
simple and Correct your spelling
process
variety
.
To closer look, I believe that we have many Replace the word
varied
options
in our lives and every reason are
related Correct subject-verb agreement
is
with
each other. Change preposition
to
For instance
, technological developments have been
increased and now we have several new job Unnecessary verb
apply
market
like social media management. In my country, I have worked as a lawyer and our firm has Fix the agreement mistake
markets
gave
an option Change the verb form
given
about
remote work and going Change preposition
for
work
for traditional way. We have Fix the infinitive
to work
this
Correct determiner usage
these
options
because of the technology, and our boss had no option. Because his generation had no technological devices like Correct article usage
the millenial
millenial
generation.
Correct your spelling
millennial
To sum up
, I believe that technological development has been
changed our decisions and it has made up for us more variety.Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on
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introduction
The introduction states your position but could be more developed. It’s important to briefly outline the main points that will be discussed in the body to give a clear roadmap to the reader.
logical structure
The essay should provide more structured and logically developed paragraphs. Consider using topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring they all tie back to the main argument.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is well-supported with evidence or examples. Some points feel underdeveloped, and specific details can strengthen your argument.
clarity
Some sentences are unclear and have grammatical errors. Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes to improve clarity.
conclusion
The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your position more definitively. It currently feels a bit abrupt and underdeveloped.
position maintained
You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay.
personal example
You provided a relevant example from your work experience, which adds a personal touch and relevance to your argument.
contemporary issues
The essay acknowledges the impact of technology and globalization, showing an understanding of contemporary issues.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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