Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to suburban areas from large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Some individuals believe that it would be beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
large scale
industries and Add a hyphen
large-scale
companies
to shift Use synonyms
at
suburban Change preposition
to
areas
from urban sites. In my Use synonyms
opinion
the advantages of Add a comma
opinion,
this
shift in Linking Words
location
of Add an article
the location
companies
Use synonyms
surpasses
the disadvantages. Change the verb form
surpass
This
essay explains my viewpoint Linking Words
further
in detail.
The foremost reward to the organizations is that expansion becomes easier and more spacious industrial sites are available in Linking Words
countryside
rather than the cities. Add an article
the countryside
Linking Words
Also
the lands which are away from the city are less expensive than those within the cities. Add a comma
Also,
For
Linking Words
instance
the cost to buy 15-20 acres of industrial land within Vadodara is around 50-60 crores but to buy the same size of industrial land in town or village at a certain distance from Add a comma
instance,
this
city costs approximately 20-25 crores. Linking Words
Therefore
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
companies
in suburban Use synonyms
areas
expand Use synonyms
more
better than in urban Change the word
apply
areas
.
Another plus to the organization is the rise in income because now the expansion Use synonyms
more
the establishment of machineries and different production Add a missing verb
is more
areas
. Use synonyms
Also
results in Linking Words
manufacturing
of Add an article
the manufacturing
variety
of products which can be sold to earn more money.
Add an article
a variety
For example
, a shoe Linking Words
company
gains public demand to manufacture sandals Use synonyms
along with
shoes. Linking Words
Although
the Linking Words
company
has customers to buy sandals of the same brand it is unable to manufacture them Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
lack
of space condition Correct article usage
a lack
also
. In Linking Words
this
case, if the Linking Words
company
is in a town, it can easily buy a land piece to set up a new manufacturing area and can Use synonyms
further
earn more income.
Linking Words
However
, some people argue that it is not Linking Words
much
beneficial to change Rephrase
very
Use synonyms
company's
location Correct article usage
a company's
at
a suburban area because the employees working there perhaps have to travel long distances daily. Change preposition
in
This
may result in Linking Words
lack
of employees as they may not be interested Correct article usage
a lack
to work
in a Change preposition
in working
company
at Use synonyms
far
distance from their accommodation. Add an article
a far
Still
I believe Add a comma
Still,
this
disadvantage can be Linking Words
overcomed
by certain measures.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
overcome
establishment
of Add an article
the establishment
companies
Use synonyms
at
suburban Change preposition
in
areas
has several Use synonyms
benefit
especially ease Change to a plural noun
benefits
to
Change preposition
of
expand
and Replace the word
expansion
the
Correct article usage
apply
gain
more income. Replace the word
gaining
While
certain initiatives can develop interest among people to work Linking Words
their
, I firmly believe Replace the word
there
advantages
outweigh Correct article usage
the advantages
disadvantages
.Correct article usage
the disadvantages
Submitted by patelharsh9912 on
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task achievement
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, with the main points of the essay adequately addressed. However, the essay would benefit from additional elaboration on the advantages and counterarguments to create a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
While the logical flow is present, some points need more coherent linking. Transitions between ideas can be smoother to enhance readability. Consider using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' etc., to connect different points seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by detailed support and relevant examples. This will make your arguments more persuasive and structured.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses specific examples to support the main points, such as the cost comparison of industrial lands in different areas. These examples significantly contribute to the argument's strength.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and restates the author's viewpoint, providing a clear end to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.