Write about the following topic: In many parts of the world, shopping is no longer a way that people buy things that they need, and it has been developed into a form of entertainment. What are the reasons for this development? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
plenty
Correct word choice
many
part
of the world, the function of shopping from Fix the agreement mistake
parts
buy
necessary things change Change the verb form
buying
over
a form of entertainment. It happens Change preposition
to
since
several reasons Change preposition
for
such
as consumer culture and technology. In my opinion, it is negative
development because Add an article
a negative
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
psychological
of Correct article usage
the psychological
people
.
Nowadays, there are skyrockated
in consumer culture where shopping is promoted as a leisure activity rather than just a necessity. Correct your spelling
skyrocket
People
buy stuff
which are
not important for their life. Change the verb form
is
Additionally
, the advent of online shopping, mobile apps, and the integration of virtual reality in shopping experiences has made it more engaging and interactive. For example
, Shoppee, one of the biggest online shop website
in Indonesia, always give Fix the agreement mistake
websites
discount
to Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
people
every month. This
situation encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
people
to buy something from this
platform even though they not
need the Change the verb form
do not
did not
stuff
. It happens since the
suggest in their mind about Correct your spelling
they
good
Add an article
the good
a good
opportunity
, Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
moreover
, it leads them buying
many things. Change the verb form
to buy
Furthermore
, the
Correct article usage
apply
advance
technology Replace the word
advanced
make
it accessible Change the verb form
makes
which
only using one device Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as phone
or laptop. Correct article usage
a phone
Subsequently
, they not
need much effort to get things, only by Change the verb form
do not
did not
click
from online Wrong verb form
clicking
then
the stuff
will be
Verb problem
apply
arrived
Wrong verb form
arrive
to
home.
Change preposition
at
This
Correct determiner usage
These
habbits
will Correct your spelling
habits
be
lead Unnecessary verb
apply
negative
development since Change preposition
to negative
it
affect Correct pronoun usage
they
people
's psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
such
as anxiety. People
tend to force themselves to buy something that they desire even though they have not
money. Correct your spelling
no
For instance
, a girl who have
Change the verb form
has
over consumerism
Add a hyphen
over-consumerism
habbit
willing to borrow money to buy Correct your spelling
habit
limited
Add an article
a limited
the limited
bag
from luxury brands. Fix the agreement mistake
bags
Furthemore
, when Correct your spelling
Furthermore
people
can not get the stuff
they will feel anxious and desprate
at the same time.
In conclusion, the major reasons are consumer culture that Correct your spelling
desperate
change
the function of shopping and technological advancements Change the verb form
changes
Correct pronoun usage
that makes
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
easier
access for Correct pronoun usage
it easier
people
to buy something. In my own perspective, it will lead negative
development Change preposition
to negative
such
as mental ilness
.Correct your spelling
illness
Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on
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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases, such as 'the function of shopping from buy necessary things change' which should be 'the function of shopping has changed from buying necessary things'.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and develop it thoroughly before moving on to the next point. Some points, like the impact of anxiety, could be further elaborated on with more specific examples and analysis.
task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt, discussing both reasons for the development and its impact.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the example of Shoppee in Indonesia, which helps illustrate your points.