IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema other says to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in a cinema. What is your opinion?

#say #films #phones #tablets #cinema
In
this
 technological era, some individuals are in favour
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 watching
movies
 using electronic
devices
at
Change preposition
in
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 their homes
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 opine that they should go to theatres.
However
, both have their own merits and demerits but I believe that cinema houses are better. In the upcoming
pragraphs
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
, I will elaborate
further
.  To commence with, Cinema houses have
devices
 which are expensive and people can not afford those. These
devices
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 different
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of enjoyment
while
 watching
movies
, especially action films. The sound coming from speakers
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
 of viewers and
maintain
Correct subject-verb agreement
maintains
show examples
 a level of attraction which is really hard at home.
Moreover
, the resolution of screens does not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the eyes as mobile can do because of its size and distance from viewers.
For example
, from a
study
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study,
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 it is seen that users of mobiles are facing issues of weak eyesight rather than watching big screen.
Additionally
, everyone is in the rat race to build
good
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a good
show examples
 lifestyle. If they go to theatres to watch a film they can stay away from professional and personal matters for some time. They can enjoy their own time which is hard at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
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.
For instance
, from a
poll
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poll,
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 it is found that
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 percentage of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 choose to go outside to enjoy
movies
instead
 of watching on
devices
. In conclusion, in
this
advance
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advanced
show examples
 world, whether to stay at
house
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the house
show examples
 or to visit
to
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apply
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cinema places for films is debatable among
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people. But I firmly agree that people should watch
movies
 in halls to enjoy the image,
noise
Correct word choice
and noise
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 and to experience me time.
Submitted by kb781920 on

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logical structure
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relevant specific examples
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supported main points
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and uses clear topic sentences. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework.
complete response
The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
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