Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

College
learners
are advised to cover their full expenses for their study courses
due to
the fact that it primarily brings benefits to its graduates rather than creating advantages for society.
This
essay will explain why I believe that
students
should not be forced to cover all their education and that everyone deserves to learn at a university. Some individuals suggest that undergraduate
students
should fill all payments in their school's courses without having any discounts, or scholarships to minimize the initial costs that pupils have to provide,
while
it is not debatable that everyone must fulfil their role in society and so are
students
, people struggle with paying their taxes and student
also
has to pay it in their near future when they get their occupation's revenue.
Consequently
,
this
amount of money contributes a spark to the national budget
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and leads to the improvement of the whole society. Illustratively, in Denmark, citizens spend about 36 to 37 per cent of their average wages on profit duties and
this
cash turns into public facilities and greatly sponsors
learners
' scholarships at every level of education. Alongside the previous mention, pupils who are in poverty or having special circumstances should
also
get support from not only the school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but even global or inland organizations and the nation itself.
Therefore
,
students
could be motivated and spend more effort on their academic journey,
hence
, advancing the average band score of
learners
and improving the quality of undergraduates.
Thus
, not only the quantity but
also
the superiority of every employee in the country can be improved in the future
along with
the merits
this
may offer to associations, from prior knowledge, with the increasing value of industries that contain various brilliant fresh graduates, the GDP in the country can increase from 35 to 45%. In conclusion, having fine measures and other policies to assist
learners
all over the world to gain access to the academic world is vital.
Therefore
, increase the financial aid for the development of human civilization.
Submitted by phamnhung275 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could be strengthened by briefly touching on the main points you will discuss in the essay. This way, the reader gets an immediate sense of what to expect.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each supporting paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis. This will improve the overall logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
While your essay features relevant examples, the connection between these examples and your main points could be clearer. Consider elaborating more on how these examples substantiate your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader easily navigate your arguments.
task achievement
You have a good range of vocabulary and you manage to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively.
task achievement
You used relevant, specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your overall response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!