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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001.

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001.
#bar #show #hours #teacher #schools #four #countries
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The given bar charts represent information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 in different
level
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levels
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 of
educations
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education
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 from four nations: Japan, Spain, Iceland, and
Correct article usage
the U.S.A
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U.S.A
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U.S.A.
, spent on teaching in 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that
American
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 teachers spent
hours
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of
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apply
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teaching the greatest,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of the others
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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relatively fluctuated
in
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at
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 every academic
levels
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level
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.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that lecturers for upper secondary students during the given time frame.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, at nearly 1,200
hours
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,
American
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 upper secondary school teachers spent the largest number of
hours
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 among the other three nations, followed by, Icelandic peoples at just above 900
horus
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hours
, and
Spainish
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Spanish
 at 900
hours
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, respectively. Meanwhile,
American
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 educators for lower secondary
grade
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grades
show examples
 still outnumbered the rest, at about 1,000
hours
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,
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teacher
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teachers
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 from
iceland
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Iceland
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 spent the fewest time on teaching at more than half of
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American
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Americans
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. Spanish and Japanese
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teacher
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teachers
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 spent similar figures around 700-800
hours
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the trends of lower secondary
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teacher
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teachers
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 and primary
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teacher
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teachers
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 were alike,
the
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with the
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overall
Linking Words
 average
hours
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 of
teching
Correct your spelling
teaching
 in the range of 500-700
hours
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words teacher, american, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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