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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates how many
tourists
Use synonyms
 selected a specific
caribbean
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Caribbean
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island
Use synonyms
 as their destination, whether stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
an island
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 or on cruise ships, over eight consecutive years from 2010 to 2017. Units are measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the total number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 witnessed a considerable upward trend during the period given.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
travelers
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travellers
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Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
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stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
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 on sea vessels reversed from being lower than those entering the
island
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 to becoming higher
at the end
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the figure for visitors staying on ships started at a quarter of a
million
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 in the first year,
then
Linking Words
 hit half a
million
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 in 2011 and a quarter of a
million
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 again in 2012, before facing five consecutive climbs to reach the peak of 2
million
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 in 2017.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of
tourists
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 landing on
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island
Add an article
the island
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 began the period by registering
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
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 of a
million
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 in 2010 and 2011 before reaching the peak of 1.5
million
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 in three consecutive years namely 2013, 2014 and 2015.
Afterwards
Add a comma
Afterwards,
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 it witnessed a decline to about 1.25
million
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 in 2016 before returning to the peak of 1.5
million
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 again in 2017. The
overall
Linking Words
 number of
tourists
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 started the period from 1
million
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 and
then
Linking Words
 faced five steady growth recording 2.75
million
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 in 2015 and 2016 before witnessing a significant jump to hit a summit of 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, island, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuating trend
  • initially
  • significant increase
  • slight decline
  • momentary setback
  • steady increase
  • minor fluctuations
  • reaching a peak
  • moderate growth
  • notable growth
  • surge in popularity
  • seasonal or yearly factors
  • stagnation
  • growing appeal
  • visitors worldwide
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