A longer prison term as a way of punishing those who break the law is not as good as other methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the number of criminals and robbers surpassed.
Therefore
, a wide range of prisons have been established to handle them. Nevertheless
, a wider prison period as a method of punishment for individuals who break the law does not benefit as other methods. I have a balanced opinion. In this
essay, I will elaborate on my view.
To commence with, some bankers can embezzlement from banks a million dollars and other ordinary people can pilfer a food from market or restaurant. However
, we can see both of them judged the same period. The judges should discriminate between both of them. Moreover
, if they did not harm or ruin society, they should imposed in rehabilitation centres instead
of prisons. In these areas, they can be rehabbed and have the capability to evolve again. For instance
, In Chicago Prisons, the prisoners who are under 21 years old or their judgements are less than two years.
They are placed in the organisations. These organisations make them volunteer in the sports sector and play in it. In Correct word choice
old.
this
way, they made some of the prisoners champions.
On the other hand
, some criminals do have not the ability to change. Whatever happens, the crime gene runs in their blood. These types of people should be imprisoned for a long period. One of the sparked examples was Ted Bondy. A serial killer who executed about 50 women. He was mentally unstable. Hence
, he served forever punishment. In addition
, some prisoners can feel that the jail is their home. They would love to stay there. They believe jails can afford them the violent community they prefer.
In conclusion, there will be a debate on this
argument. Nonetheless
, the community should differentiate between the criminals and those who have the ability to reintegrate with
society again.Change preposition
into
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task achievement
Your response needs a more balanced approach. While you attempted to discuss both sides, your arguments could be more comprehensive. Try to develop your points more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Certain parts of your essay are unclear due to grammatical mistakes. Consider revising sentences for clarity and correctness.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing. This helps in demonstrating a better command of the language.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, which shows that you have thought deeply about your topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument in a structured manner.
task achievement
You made an attempt to present balanced viewpoints focusing on different types of criminals, which adds depth to your essay.