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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#households #income #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
 graph illustrates the
number
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in the US
shows
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 by their annual salary.
This
 chart
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
show examples
 into several groupings based on their annual salaries. Both groups who received $50,000-$74,999 and $75,000 – $99,999 have stagnant numbers of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 throughout 2007-2015 amounting to 20
millions
Change to singular
million
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 and 14
millions
Change to singular
million
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 respectively.
In
Change preposition
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 side, different
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
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 faced the
income
 group of less than $25,000 and $25,000-$49,000
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 faced
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 but mostly stable patterns starting from 25
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 26
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2007 to 27
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 28
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. Meanwhile,
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 who was in the highest group
facing
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 fluctuation throughout the years. It started
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 29
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 and rose to 34
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 by the end of 2015.
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 2007, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
number
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 was
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
income
 of $75,000-99,999,
while
 the highest was with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
income
 of $100,000.
Given the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 fact that the highest
number
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in 2011 was different,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from the
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 who had $25,000-$49,000.
Finally
, in 2015, the highest
number
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 was back with the group of
income
 of $100,000.
Submitted by rkarinameu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, household, millions, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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