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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#households #income #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in the US
shows
Wrong verb form
shown
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 by their annual salary.
This
Linking Words
 chart
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
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 into several groupings based on their annual salaries. Both groups who received $50,000-$74,999 and $75,000 – $99,999 have stagnant numbers of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 throughout 2007-2015 amounting to 20
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 and 14
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 respectively.
In
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On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 side, different
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
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 faced the
income
Use synonyms
 group of less than $25,000 and $25,000-$49,000
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 faced
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 but mostly stable patterns starting from 25
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 26
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2007 to 27
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 28
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. Meanwhile,
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 who was in the highest group
facing
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 fluctuation throughout the years. It started
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 29
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 and rose to 34
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 by the end of 2015.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 2007, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 was
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 of $75,000-99,999,
while
Linking Words
 the highest was with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 of $100,000.
Given the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 fact that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in 2011 was different,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from the
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 who had $25,000-$49,000.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2015, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 was back with the group of
income
Use synonyms
 of $100,000.
Submitted by rkarinameu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, household, millions, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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