IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. * Where you stayed * What the problems were * How they can fix your complaints

#hotel #conference #company #room #complaints
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my disappointment regarding your
room
 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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I chose to
stayed
Change the verb
stay
show examples
 there for
conference
Add an article
a conference
show examples
 with my company. When I attended to your country with my counterpart because of
conference
Add an article
the conference
a conference
show examples
 with my agency. There was not only
conference
Add an article
the conference
a conference
show examples
 but
also
another plans
Replace the adjective
another plan
other plans
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 which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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I Have been planning
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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for two months. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
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we wanted to stay
your
Change preposition
at your
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 hotel and wait until the end of the
conference
 with my company. We thought your hotel is
marvellous
Add an article
a marvellous
show examples
 place where can attract people who come to your state.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the main reason so as to I am writing to you is your
room
 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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I stayed. When I stayed there, I found out your
room
 was inadequate and
also
 some staff of your
room
 was defective which was I found from your
room
. Exactly your window had
malfunction
Change the verb form
malfunctioned
show examples
 and
also
 some holes.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 I trust that you will take vital steps to solve the problems. Exactly I would
be greatly appreciate
Change the verb form
greatly appreciate
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 it if you could change my
room
 to
anothe
Correct your spelling
another
 one which is better than the
last
 one or refund my money.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I want to hear your explanation
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your issue. I hope you can address
this
 matter promptly and provide
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
 solution. Yours faithfully, Ashurov Sardor
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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complete response
Your letter addresses all points of the task, but ensure to maintain clarity and logic in expressing complaint points and the flow of the complaint and resolution expectations.
clear comprehensive ideas
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some sentences are a bit confusing and might not convey your thoughts effectively.
relevant specific examples
Provide specific examples or elaborate more on how the problems affected your stay to make your complaint stronger and more relatable.
task achievement
You have addressed all the required points of the task which demonstrates your understanding of the task prompt.
introduction conclusion present
Your letter has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in understanding the main objective of your letter.
logical structure
The logical structure of your letter is mostly sound, and it is clear which part of the letter serves what purpose.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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