It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that elder

people

should join

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

if they would like to.

While

many

people

disagree with

this

argument, I think that it is a good idea for them. Working helps them feel happier despite

of

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their old age and lack of flexibility. When retiring, the old tend to live alone because of the lack

time

Change preposition

of time

show examples

of arrival of their sons,

daughters

Correct word choice

and daughters

show examples

.

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, keeping their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

is one of the

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

that they can spend their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

. To

me

Correct your spelling

be

show examples

more specific, many elder

people

in Japan decide to work

instead

of staying home. Many newspapers,

organizations

Correct word choice

and organizations

show examples

assume that working helps them stay away

of

Change preposition

from

show examples

the feeling of being alone.

This

emotion may get worse and become

stress

Replace the word

stressful

show examples

if it happens for a long time. Not only preventing them from the feeling of being alone

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

helping them enhance the

finacial

Correct your spelling

financial

burden

in

Change preposition

on

show examples

their sons and daughters. In many poor families, earning money is one

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

that elder

people

decide to keep working. Even if the amount of money they get

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

much, it

also

supports their daughters and sons.

Moreover

,

this

idea may help them stay in a healthy life, which prevents them from being

illness

Replace the word

ill

show examples

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

can get

a tons

Correct the article-noun agreement

tons

a ton

show examples

of money. In

addtion

Correct your spelling

addition

, their

dicision

Correct your spelling

decision

helps their children who could

concertrate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

on their careers

instead

of

spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

most time

to take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

care of them. In conclusion, despite

of

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some negative

oppinions

Correct your spelling

opinions

about

this

topic, I keep holding onto

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

idea that

this

helps a

lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

lot

show examples

not only

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

elder

people

but

also

many

Change preposition

in many

show examples

aspects of their lives.