IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

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There is no doubt that the number of extinct
languages
Use synonyms
 is increasing year to year. Some people suggest that
this
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 trend can be ignored
due to
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 the efficiency of communication with fewer
languages
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will explain why I partly disagree with
this
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 opinion.
To begin
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 with the one hand, some people assert that it is not a problem to avoid disappearing
languages
Use synonyms
. Fewer
languages
Use synonyms
 can provide more fluent communication around the world.
For example
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,
English
Use synonyms
 or Chinese is spoken by numerous citizens in the world. Research recently conducted by the Ministry of Education in Japan, about half of university students feel easier to speak
English
Use synonyms
 than Japanese.
This
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 is because they are often required to write documents and communicate with their professors and peers in
English
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, the common
language
Use synonyms
,
English
Use synonyms
,
for instance
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, can enhance the convenience of communication.
However
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, I believe that it is essential to protect our own
languages
Use synonyms
.
Language
Use synonyms
 can illustrate the identity of each region, which plays a vital role in sustaining traditional culture and history.
According to
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 an article by Nikkei newspaper,
although
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 there were numerous directions 300 years ago in Japan, there are only ten now. As disappeared directions, traditional customs became extinct.
Thus
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,
language
Use synonyms
 and traditional culture are connected so tightly. If we want to protect our culture and history, we will have to protect our own
language
Use synonyms
 first. In conclusion,
although
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 there are beneficial aspects of speaking with fewer
languages
Use synonyms
, we
also
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 have to protect our
languages
Use synonyms
 which are likely to be extinguished in the world.

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task achievement
Consider providing a bit more development for each main point. For example, you can delve deeper into how exactly the loss of language affects community identity and cultural heritage.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Try to incorporate more transitional phrases to enhance flow, such as 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your main arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. The examples used, such as the study by the Ministry of Education in Japan and the article regarding traditional customs in Japan, effectively support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic diversity
  • cultural heritage
  • global communication
  • economic integration
  • homogenization
  • unique perspectives
  • translation tools
  • educational platforms
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • cognitive benefits
  • problem-solving skills
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