It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.
In
this
essay, I want to argue and give my opinion on the question that; high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
jobs
are done by men
. Should government
encourage a certain percentage of these Add an article
the government
jobs
to be reserved for women
?
As
Change preposition
In
a
beginning, Correct article usage
the
men
are more employed than women
. Further
, men
are paid more, they can find jobs
easily, and they can reach the high
positions than Correct word choice
higher
women
. Thus
, work possibilities are more difficult for women
. Naturally, in the modern world, government
should maintain the balance and the equality for employment between Add an article
the government
women
and men
.
However
, if we talk about understandeble
unequal situations, there Correct your spelling
understanding
is
a basic and physical differences between Verb problem
apply
two
Correct article usage
the two
gender
. Fix the agreement mistake
genders
Women
are more romantic and emotinal
rather than Correct your spelling
emotional
men
. We can unanimously accept that men
are more realistic and serious. On the other hand
, men
are good at the
Correct article usage
apply
jobs
that required
physical power. Wrong verb form
require
As a result
, such
as
Change preposition
apply
this
differences create inequalities which is normal.
In my opinion, except Correct determiner usage
apply
normal
Change preposition
for normal
unequalities
, Correct your spelling
inequalities
Correct article usage
the governement
governement
has to take precautions to Correct your spelling
government
pervent
inequalities in work life. Unequal work circumstances can cause unequal income, well-being, Correct your spelling
prevent
happiness
Correct word choice
and happiness
further
married life.
As a result
, Inequality huge problem that should be prevented. I agree with this
proposition. Some of the certain jobs
must be reserved for women
to maintain the balance between two
Correct article usage
the two
gender
.Change to a plural noun
genders
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, but it could benefit from having more structured arguments and relevant examples to support your points. Consider dividing your essay into clear paragraphs, each tackling a specific aspect of the question.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically into the next. Clear connections between your points will make your argument more cohesive.
language
Be mindful of minor language errors. Paying attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling will help you convey your ideas more clearly and professionally.
task achievement
You've presented a clear stance on the issue, making it evident what your opinion is. This is a good foundation for a strong essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay concludes with a summary of your viewpoint, which helps to wrap up your argument effectively. Maintaining this structure is beneficial.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.