It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.

#level #jobs #men #government #percentage #women #proposition

this

essay, I want to argue and give my opinion on the question that;

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

jobs

are done by

men

. Should

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

encourage a certain percentage of these

jobs

to be reserved for

women

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

beginning,

men

are more employed than

women

Further

men

are paid more, they can find

jobs

easily, and they can reach

the high

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

positions than

women

Thus

, work possibilities are more difficult for

women

. Naturally, in the modern world,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should maintain the balance and the equality for employment between

women

and

men

However

, if we talk about

understandeble

Correct your spelling

understanding

unequal situations, there

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a basic and physical differences between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

Women

are more romantic and

emotinal

Correct your spelling

emotional

rather than

men

. We can unanimously accept that

men

are more realistic and serious.

On the other hand

men

are good at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jobs

that

required

Wrong verb form

require

show examples

physical power.

As a result

such

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

differences create inequalities which is normal. In my opinion, except

normal

Change preposition

for normal

show examples

unequalities

Correct your spelling

inequalities

Correct article usage

the governement

show examples

governement

Correct your spelling

government

has to take precautions to

pervent

Correct your spelling

prevent

inequalities in work life. Unequal work circumstances can cause unequal income, well-being,

happiness

Correct word choice

and happiness

show examples

further

married life.

As a result

, Inequality huge problem that should be prevented. I agree with

this

proposition. Some of the certain

jobs

must be reserved for

women

to maintain the balance between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

gender

Change to a plural noun

genders

show examples

Submitted by ilyascanaltan on Wed Aug 07 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, but it could benefit from having more structured arguments and relevant examples to support your points. Consider dividing your essay into clear paragraphs, each tackling a specific aspect of the question.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically into the next. Clear connections between your points will make your argument more cohesive.

language

Be mindful of minor language errors. Paying attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling will help you convey your ideas more clearly and professionally.

task achievement

You've presented a clear stance on the issue, making it evident what your opinion is. This is a good foundation for a strong essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay concludes with a summary of your viewpoint, which helps to wrap up your argument effectively. Maintaining this structure is beneficial.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

216 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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The government has the duty to ensure that its citizens have a healthy diet, while others believe this is individuals’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is sad that life is becoming increasingly stressful for most people. What is the reason of this phenomenon and how could this problem be solved?

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?