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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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This
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 report derives from the flow chart which enumerates the
process
Use synonyms
 of manufacturing
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane.
Furthermore
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, the illustration includes the seven long steps of the
process
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.
Overall
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, the knotty procedure is progressed by equipped farmers and specific machines.
Firstly
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, it takes around twelve to eighteen months to grow a
sugar
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 cane. It is
then
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 harvested by the farmers, undergoing the crushing phase by machinery and is turned into juice form.
Secondly
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, a different device, a limestone filter, is used to purify the juice.
Also
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, the purified juice will become the syrup after the evaporating
process
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. And
this
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 is done by a big evaporator with a high temperature.
Lastly
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, the syrup is sorted into
sugar
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 crystals by an equipment called centrifuge.
Finally
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, we can get a complete form of
sugar
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 after drying and cooling the crystals. We can understand that the manufacturing of
sugar
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 requires a complicated
process
Use synonyms
 with several steps involved.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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