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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many country average weight of the people increasing and fitness levels are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken solve them?

#country #weight #people #fitness #levels #measures
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Nowadays a lot of countries face an issue with overweighting and low fitness levels among the population. First of all, there are economic factors which lead to the healthy
food
 options being more expensive and less accessible so
people
 prefer to choose cheaper and unhealthy alternatives.
Furthermore
, the fast speed of the lifestyle forces
people
 to choose fast
food
 chains which leads to the formation of negative eating habits.
Moreover
, the prevalence of desk jobs, increased screen time, and lack of physical activities have resulted in lower fitness levels.
In addition
, many
people
 do not understand the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise.
However
, there are some measures that exist which could help to solve the problem of
people
's weight . One of them is educational programs which can be involved in schools and community centres to provide information about nutrition and exercise. The second thing is government initiatives which can help to promote healthy eating and regular physical activity. And the
last
 one is subsidizing healthy
food
 options. It will help to solve the issues with overpriced clean
food
 so nutritious foods will be more affordable through subsidies. In conclusion, the problem with weight of the
people
 increasing and fitness levels decreasing
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
.
Therefore
, society should make an effort to solve
this
 problem and create healthy eating habits in the nation.
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task achievement
Consider expanding on your points with more specific examples and statistical data to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using appropriate linking words and phrases. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
You have identified several key causes of increasing weight and decreasing fitness levels, including economic factors, fast food culture, and sedentary lifestyles.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main points, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • processed foods
  • high-calorie
  • fast food chains
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • balanced diet
  • economic factors
  • urbanization
  • green spaces
  • recreational areas
  • government initiatives
  • educational programs
  • accessibility
  • public awareness campaigns
  • subsidizing
  • nutritious foods
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