IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

University education should be free for everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #income
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Some people believe that everyone should have free access to tertiary
education
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, irrespective of their income. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
firstly
Linking Words
 discuss without payment for higher
education
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 can create burdens for
government
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 finance and
second,
Linking Words
it might lower
students
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’ motivation. The first reason why I do not agree with the point is that
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 paying tuition can affect
government
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 expenditure.
Government
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 has to cover the costs
such
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 as teachers,
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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, textbooks or activities of
students
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, allocating a huge amount of budget to university
education
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 leads leaders to have to cut down some sectors of the country or even borrow money from foreign countries. No matter which option the
government
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 choose
this
Linking Words
 might have bad consequences for the economy or
develop
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development
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 of the country. Another reason is that free access to
further
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education
Use synonyms
 can lower
students
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’ motivation. One of the main
motivation
Fix the agreement mistake
motivations
show examples
 of
students
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 because of their parents. A good example of
this
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 is parents have to work hard, sometimes they spend several months of their salary for their kids just 1 term.
That is
Linking Words
 why
students
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 will try their best to make their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 proud. It is
also
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who sometiomes
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sometiomes
Correct your spelling
sometimes
 need to loan debt,
therefore
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 they work around the clock in their studying to achieve the best results and
then
Linking Words
 get well-paid
job
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jobs
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 and pay off debt. In conclusion, I totally disagree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 opinion that everyone has free access to higher
education
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, irrespective of income
levels
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level
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.
Thus
Linking Words
,
students
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 or their families should have
Correct article usage
the responsibilities
show examples
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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 to contribute to their studying and their future.
Submitted by duyuyen18 on

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task achievement
The essay responds to the prompt effectively and presents clear ideas, but some points need more elaboration. For instance, mentioning specific sectors or examples can help make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Although ideas are presented logically, linking them more clearly can improve the overall cohesion. Utilizing more linking words and phrases can make your arguments flow better.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a well-structured conclusion which summarize your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You addressed the task appropriately and provided relevant reasons, supporting your arguments with examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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