Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe/regard it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Nowadays, the advancement of

technology

Use synonyms

is regarded

can be

Wrong verb form

show examples

increasing

crime

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by some

people

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Whereas

Linking Words

, in my point of view

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

can

reduce

Wrong verb form

be reduced

show examples

through

technology

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. First and foremost, everyone can feel

crime

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wherever and whenever because many

people

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can not know the

circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

circumstances

show examples

in some areas. Some causes,

crime

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can

occurr

Correct your spelling

occur

unpredictable

Change preposition

in unpredictable

show examples

moments, it can

be happens

Change the verb form

happen

show examples

in private and public areas. There is

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crime

Add an article

a crime

show examples

that common in my country like

killed

Add a missing verb

being killed

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, usually it

be occurred

Wrong verb form

occurs

show examples

because

family

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of family

show examples

conflicts. In the past time, some

crime

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causes were very difficult to solve

due to

Linking Words

nothing documentary as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

proof. Fortunately,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

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can develop and

faster solving

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

particularly

Linking Words

while

Change preposition

with

show examples

social media.

For instance

Linking Words

, if someone

feel

Change the verb form

feels

show examples

criminal activities, they can show

Correct pronoun usage

it on

show examples

Instagram, Tiktok or others.

Thus

Linking Words

, the cause can

accepted

Change the verb form

be accepted

show examples

by police, government and society are faster rather than without

technology

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

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believe

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

technology

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can

be climbing

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

crime

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in society

due to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal identity

not

Add the comma(s)

, not

show examples

safety.

For example

Linking Words

, every

registered

Wrong verb form

show examples

something, many times many

people

Use synonyms

should

apply

Add the preposition

apply for

show examples

their identity card,

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

but

show examples

the government will not maintain the personal data of citizens well. Following that, several criminal are happened still

according to

Linking Words

personal information

such

Linking Words

to register

Change the verb form

registering

show examples

online legal site and something like that.

As a result

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

felt their data

have

Verb problem

were

show examples

not safe

due to

Linking Words

it affected by

technology

Use synonyms

. In summary, I believe criminal activities can be

declining

Wrong verb form

declined

show examples

Change preposition

through

show examples

technology

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the government should collaborate with

Add an article

an expert

show examples

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

show examples

person who has knowledge about

technology

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

, many

people

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view their personal data are not

safety

Replace the word

safe

show examples

because other

people

Use synonyms

can search through

technology

Use synonyms

easily.

writingbersamaThu Aug 08 2024

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task response

Ensure your thesis statement clearly states your position in the introduction. For example: 'Some people believe that technological advancements increase crime, while others think they help in reducing it. In my opinion, technology helps to decrease crime.'

coherence and cohesion

Work on linking your ideas within and between paragraphs. Using transition words can help create a smooth flow of thoughts. For example: 'Furthermore,' 'On one hand,' and 'On the other hand.'

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors. Focus on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Consider: 'First and foremost, crime can happen anywhere and at any time because many people are unaware of certain circumstances.'

task response

Your essay addresses both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

task response

You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, which adds strength to your arguments.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
surveillance
forensic science
cybercrime
data theft
anonymity
illicit activities
law enforcement
jurisdictions
crime prevention

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Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe/regard it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

A growing number of people rely or restaurants and convenience food (Frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries are getting richer while poorer countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?