The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period

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The line chart compares the number of

people

Use synonyms

engaging

differ

Replace the word

in different

show examples

activities at a specific social

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

capital

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the capital

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of Australia Melbourne from 2000 to 2020.

Overall

Linking Words

, the most popular activity was

film

Correct article usage

the film

show examples

club over the shown period.

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show examples

increasing trend can be seen in table tennis.

However

Linking Words

, amateur dramatics experienced

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show examples

obvious drop. In 2000, around 63

people

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joined FilmClub, which was far more than the other categories. It fluctuated over the

followed

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following

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20 years.

Whereas

Linking Words

participants

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was

Change the verb form

were

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keeping around 60 to 66 and always the number one over the period. As for martial arts, ranked second in 2000 with 36

participants

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then

Linking Words

slightly declined in 2005 and kept slightly fluctuating until 2020. Remained the same

people

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as at

beginning

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the beginning

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Additionally

Linking Words

, no one attended the music show performance in 2000.

However

Linking Words

, since 2005, it dramatically increased

Change preposition

by 11

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people

Use synonyms

in 2010 and kept rising trend to

near

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nearly

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participants

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in 2020. It is noticeable that amateur dramatics was higher than table tennis by 10

participants

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However

Linking Words

, after slightly

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

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, atomic dramatics rapidly decreased over 15 years to its lowest point, less than 10

participants

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. Interestingly, table tennis dramatically increased to its summit

about

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by about

show examples

participants

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from 2010 to 2020.

Submitted by duzirong on Thu Aug 08 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, participants with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

198 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participants
social centre
comparison
trends
consistently popular
gained popularity
lost popularity
community interest
availability of facilities
social factors
economic factors
external events
economic downturns
health crises
demographic changes
aging population
marketing
community outreach programs
participation rates
Melbourne

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter introduce yourself say why you are interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs

Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people spend most of their lives living close to where they are born. what might be the reasons for this? what are the advantages and disadvantages

Topic: Some people believe that history should be taught to children at school. Others however, believe that there are other subjects that are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.