IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Describe the information shown to a university or collage lecturer.

#information #university #collage #lecturer
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The bar
chart
 shows figures relating to
hours
 worked per
week
 amongst professionals in eight groups,
while
 the pie
chart
 shows the levels of
stress
 experienced by each group.
Overall
, businessmen and
lecturers
 are the most and the least working professions.
On the other hand
,
lecturers
 suffer an enormous amount of
stress
. Lawyers,
lecturers
, and chefs worked less in comparison with other options, slightly fluctuating around 30
hours
 per
week
.
Next,
programmers and writers both exceeded 40
hours
 per
week
;
however
, it is a median of the
chart
. Doctors, movie producers, and businessmen held the highest results among the remaining five professions, 50, 60, and 70
hours
 per
week
 respectively.
While
 spending the least amount of
hours
 per
week
,
lecturers
 had the most stressful work, which is a quarter of the whole
chart
. Doctors, chefs, and movie producers had relatively the same results
in contrast
 with their work
hours
.
Furthermore
, lawyers and writers had the same share of
stress
 levels,
accountingfor
Correct your spelling
accounting for
 8% each.
Finally
, the smallest
stress
 level, which is 5%, belonged to the programmers.
Submitted by Umar on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. These parts help create a structured and coherent piece of writing.
relevant specific examples
Elaborate more on the specific figures and details given in the charts for a deeper analysis. This will strengthen your response and provide clear, comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive summary of the bar and pie charts, covering the essential details well.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is clear, making it easy to follow the information presented.
supported main points
Main points are supported well throughout the essay, with specific examples taken from the data provided.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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