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Writing Samples
Band 5

The map show Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map show Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 report derives from the maps which enumerate the development of Southside, a shopping mall between the present and the future. A glance at the illustrations clearly reveals that the
overall
Linking Words
 trends of the reformation process encountered sophistication and expansion, with an elimination of the golf course which was located
in
Change preposition
on
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 the east side of the
area
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by augmenting the space of the shopping mall, the facility became more spacious.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the mall will get two entrances after the renovation. To be specific, in comparison to the present, the
area
Use synonyms
 of the department store in the planned development
possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
show examples
 more larger section
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east side.
Also
Linking Words
, the former narrow car park will be converted into
the
Correct article usage
a
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 huge
cark
Correct your spelling
car
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 park, removing the fitness
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 which is located
in
Change preposition
on
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 the south side of the district in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the play
area
Use synonyms
 will be replaced
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the beauty salon, and the cafe below the play
area
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 be supplanted by the information
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, regarding that there are many variations during the reconstruction period, the future planned design still includes the supermarket with the same location in the
area
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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