Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words

In
this
day and age, many people assert that the
authorities
should be responsible for
health
care
services
and
schooling
Correct article usage
the schooling
show examples
of
citizens
.
While
others claim that these
responsibilities
do not belong to the
government
. From my view, I believe that it is better to tackle it in an equal way. On the one hand, it is undeniable that spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
care
and
education
is one of the most important
responsibilities
of the state. Each year,
citizens
have to pay many kinds of taxes.
Therefore
, the
authorities
should provide free
health
care
services
and
education
as a way to show inhabitants that the
nation
ultilizes
Correct your spelling
utilises
their money properly.
Moreover
, if a country becomes well-educated and healthy by these free provisions which are provided by the
authorities
,
this
can lead to a lot of positive results.
For example
, when all people in a
nation
can approach advanced
education
programs no matter who they are, they can easily get a well-paid job and crime levels will decrease significantly.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
these ways,
citizens
will increase their trust
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the state and
this
contributes to the prosperity and solidarity of the
nation
.
On the other hand
, even
providing
Correct word choice
though providing
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free
services
has many advantages, these
responsibilities
do not entirely belong to the
government
.
Firstly
, the
nation
’s
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
may not
enough
Add a missing verb
be enough
show examples
to spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
all the
services
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
health
care
and schooling.
For instance
, in some developing countries, the
authorities
need to allocate their money for so many works
such
as building hospitals, paying teacher salaries,
buying
Correct word choice
and buying
show examples
school and hospital facilities,…
As a result
, the country’s fund will not be able to afford for all these activities.
Additionally
, some countries have dense
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
like China or America,
paying
Correct word choice
and paying
show examples
for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
activities like free
health
care
provisions or
education
is impossible,
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
will create a burden on the state’s
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
.
To conclude
, it is obvious that the
government
should be responsible for
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
care
and
education
of a
nation
.
However
, these
responsibilities
do not totally belong to just the
authorities
,
citizens
must
raise
Verb problem
be
show examples
aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
health
and
education
as a way to reduce
burden
Add an article
the burden
show examples
on the
government
.
Submitted by weezel on

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General
Overall, your essay is well-written and addresses the task adequately. However, there are a few areas for improvement: 1. Try to elaborate more on each point. Adding a bit more detail or explanation can make your argument stronger. 2. Be careful with grammar and vocabulary. Though the essay is generally clear, there are a few minor mistakes that can be polished. 3. Ensure that your transitions between paragraphs and ideas are as smooth as possible to improve the flow of your essay.
Specific
For example, instead of just stating 'this contributes to the prosperity and solidarity of the nation', you could add a sentence explaining how this happens. Similarly, you might want to specify what kinds of positive results you foresee.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure, with a logical flow of ideas and well-defined paragraphs.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both effective in framing your discussion and rounding off your points respectively.
Content
Your main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations, making your argument more persuasive.
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