In many countries, people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to the latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #people #clothes #hair #styles #fashion #development

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In some places in the world, citizens have many

clothes

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, and they

also

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determine haircuts based on the newest.

This

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essay will outline a number of reasons for

this

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trend

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and I believe that

this

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incident is a positive development. Individuals frequently purchase apparel that follows the latest trends and they always select the most popular hairstyles are attributed to various factors. One main cause of

this

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issue is that a substantial numbеr of individuals fear missing out, they do not want to be inferior to others, so they always want to update trendy to feel like they belong to a community.

Furthermore

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, they may think that if they dress fashionable wardrobe, they will become gorgeous in the eyes of others, which makes them feel more confident.

Therefore

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, the majority of individuals only really own the newest costumes and trendy hair. In my opinion,

this

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trend

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can bring complementary growth.

First,

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buying many faddy

clothes

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and getting a new hairstyle will help create more jobs for citizens in that

country

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, which makes the job of

clothes

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and hairstyles have a handsome salary, so their living will become better than before.

Second,

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as the demand for new clothing and hairstyle trends increases, creativity in design in both the fashion and hair industries will grow rapidly and produce better results. When a

country

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produces more beautiful

clothes

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, it will help the

country

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's clothing products to be exported to more places in the world, thereby helping the

country

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's economy develop. In conclusion, fear of missing out and wanting to become beautiful in the eyes of others can be reasons for

this

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trend

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, there are a number of good things that the

trend

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brings to the

country

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Submitted by okookk123456 on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task response

Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing reasons for the trend and discussing its positive aspects. However, try to use more precise language and avoid repetition to enhance clarity. For example, instead of "so they always want to update trendy," you could say "so they always want to stay updated with the latest trends."

coherence

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and uses cohesive devices to link sentences smoothly. While the essay generally flows well, certain transitions could be improved. For example, "Furthermore" could be better replaced with "Additionally" in some contexts for variety.

introduction conclusion cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could summarize the main points more succinctly rather than introducing new details.

task response

Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing both the reasons behind the trend and its positive aspects.

clear comprehensive ideas

You present clear and comprehensive ideas, which makes your essay easy to follow.

relevant specific examples

Your essay includes relevant examples that support your main points, such as the discussion on job creation and economic development.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

trends
influencers
social acceptance
self-expression
consumer culture
fast fashion
ethical implications
sustainability
innovation
economic growth
garment industry
psychological impact
creativity

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In many countries, people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to the latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Nowadays, sport is becoming a business and more and more professionals and big companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think it is a positive development or negative development?

Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.