Some people feel that school should teach children how to be good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What skills people need to be a good parent?
Education of parenting needs to take place in schools'
curriculum
. I totally agree with Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
this
view. The concept of responsibility and understanding should be taught in terms of to be
decent Change the verb form
being
parents
.
Being a nice mother and father has paramount importance for society. This
undeniable fact is often neglected by educational
system despite the fact that it is massively common. From a particular age, which is likely to be Correct article usage
the educational
mid 20's
nowadays, Correct your spelling
mid-20s
the
most of the young adults consider marriage. So, marrying is less important than maths, language or science? Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, today, many couples suffers
from not knowing the dynamics of the marriage. Change the verb form
suffer
This
situation culminates in unpleasant outcomes, such
as divorcing and unresponsible kids.
In order to tackle this
critic
issue, schools may begin to teach how to be good Replace the word
critical
parents
. In this
context, children must be taught about responsibility and understanding at
the first place. These 2 elements are vital components of Change preposition
in
the
healthy marriages. Being responsible, Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, allows parents
to raise role model
citizens. Children who are educated and Add a hyphen
role-model
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
by
the help of their mom and dad are more likely to be calm and wise. Change preposition
apply
Also
, as all people make mistakes, offspring can be more happy and cheerful when their parents
are approachable individuals.
In conclusion, many argue that pupils should obtain education
Add an article
an education
as to
parenting. In order to sustain positive attitudes Change preposition
for
of
children and marriages, liability and approachability must be taught by schools.Change preposition
toward
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Task Achievement
To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on how teaching parenting responsibilities can practically be implemented in the school curriculum. This will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using linking words can help in maintaining a seamless connection.
Introduction and Conclusion
Conclusion could be strengthened by reiterating the key points discussed and summarizing how they contribute to the overall argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay starts with a clear stance on the topic, making it easy for readers to understand your position.
Task Achievement
You have identified and elaborated on important skills such as responsibility and understanding, which are crucial for good parenting.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay touches on both the necessity of teaching parenting skills and outlines some basic elements of good parenting.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite