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Band 4.5

In many countries, the widespread use of the internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #internet #people #freedom #work #study #home #college
Speaking
a second or other languages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a second or other language
second or other languages
show examples
 rather
a
Correct word choice
than a
show examples
mother tongue in a foreign country makes
speaker
Correct article usage
the speaker
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
face a lot of serious social
problems
,
besides
 practical
problems
. I totally agree with
this
 idea because immigrants may find it difficult to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
communications
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
 with others
also
 they become overwhelmed
as a result
 of searching for social credibility among natural
speakers
. Transferring your exact opinion
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a foreign
language
 is one of the harsh experiences. Having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
 is all about saying your opinion and showing your emotions,
however
, a
non-native
speaker
 struggles with passing on.
For example
,
non-
Correct your spelling
non-speakers
speakers
' words may lead to misunderstanding, so they get away from having a pleasant interaction.
Therefore
, a
speaker
 of a foreign
language
 might face social issues
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 getting humiliated by native ones, feeling isolated and neglected, and becoming embarrassed. Accounting a foreign
language
speaker
 as a poor stratum of society makes all of the
non-native
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
show examples
 weary.
Although
 some
non-native
speakers
, who have acceptable occupations, have a significant social credibility and
respects
Fix the agreement mistake
respect
show examples
. If a foreign
language
speaker
 goes through a shopping native
speakers
 may laugh at that person because of an unusual accent. Probably, all of the foreigners are making attempts to juggle the demands of having a good social level and living as foreign people. In conclusion, speaking in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 country as a non-
speaker
 has some social issues. All immigrants
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
 to have some difficulties for interaction and these
problems
 lead to facing social issues.
Additionally
,
non-native
speakers
 do not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
social credibility.
At
Change preposition
Last
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last
 but not least, respecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
non-native
speakers
 can be a good suggestion for preventing all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
problems
.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas. For example, use more transitional phrases to connect your thoughts more clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to illustrate your points with more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task completely by discussing both social and practical problems faced by non-native speakers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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