Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

#people #children #tv #home #school

Ordinary people tend to believe that watching

can give students

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and skills no matter where children are. I absolutely disagree with their idea. There are

Correct article usage

a numbers

show examples

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

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of televisions little youngers can watch. Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

televisions

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

concentrate on entertainment including movies, cartoons and news rather than

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

itself.

Besides

informations

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information

pieces of information

show examples

from these fractions

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

already been divided, which means it is so hard

using

Change the verb form

to use

show examples

these sense of "skills" in daily life. meanwhile, the core of study may be providing

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show examples

entire time for learning and building a

confortable

Correct your spelling

comfortable

learning environment.

That is

the reason why watching

should not be encouraged both at home and school.

in other words

, if students watch

at these

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

, they do have no time to enjoy their study atmospheres. easily shifting concentration is the feature of young people. Watching

could

inevitablely

Correct your spelling

inevitably

accelrate

Correct your spelling

accelerate

accelerated

this

trend.

Moreover

, it is hard for children to control their time

spending on

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

watching

when most of the

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

interesting and addicting. They may gradually lose their patience and the ability to concentrate. Some news and online communications may

exist

Verb problem

have

show examples

a few

Change preposition

apply

show examples

skills or

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

, but

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

cannot be absorbed by students.

there

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

common sense that people

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

for fun

instead

of learning.

Submitted by wzw_0804 on Thu Aug 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider structuring your essay with clear paragraphs. Start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs each introducing a single main point, and conclude with a summary or conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your sentences flow logically from one to the next. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to connect your ideas smoother.

task achievement

To strengthen your arguments, provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This adds depth and credibility to your essay.

task achievement

Make sure to explain your reasoning clearly. Avoid vague statements, and provide detailed explanations of your points.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and clearly disagrees with the statement.

task achievement

The essay touches on multiple relevant points such as the content of TV programs and the impact on children's attention spans.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

213 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

source of distraction
educational content
entertainment shows
advertisements
inappropriate content
hinders learning
interactive learning opportunities
traditional classroom settings
one-way medium
individual learning needs
prolonged screen time
negative health effects
eye strain
poor posture
lack of physical activity
overall development
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
interactive, hands-on activities
passive television watching
participatory forms of learning
group projects
experiments
real-world problem solving
cognitive abilities
social skills

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Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is?