IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job.You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend.In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #•say #•explain #idea #•suggest
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Hi Nilu, I hope you are doing well. I am writing in order to give you some useful advice that might be helpful for your future I am thankful that you believed me and asked for help. I will not highly recommend you to study at college
due to
 It is a waste of time.
Moreover
, I know that you are more interested in
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 than learning some skills at college.
Also
, it is so challenging to talk to strangers
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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at
Change preposition
in
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 Uzbekistan. I thoroughly advise you
to
Change preposition
apply
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to get a well-paid job which is beneficial for you.
Firstly
, you will be able to purchase anything you want.
Secondly
, you will not spend your time
at
Change preposition
on
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 fruitless activities
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 playing video games or watching TV programs.
Thirdly
, you can buy plenty of useful courses. I suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
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take
a
Correct article usage
the
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 place of
IT
Correct article usage
an IT
show examples
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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.
For instance
, programming, marketing,
web
Correct word choice
and web
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 designing. If you choose one of them you will not regret. I am giving friendly advice that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 functional for you. Looking forward to your quick reply. With love Mohinur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs. For example, one paragraph for why college isn't suitable, another for the benefits of getting a job, and a third for job suggestions.
task achievement
Try to expand and elaborate on your points about why college would not be enjoyable. This will make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Be careful with small grammatical errors and word choices, for example: 'I will not highly recommend' should be 'I do not highly recommend'.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and supportive, which is very suitable for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear conclusion with a friendly encouragement for a reply, which nicely closes the letter.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical nature
  • real-world experience
  • practical experience
  • professional network
  • financial independence
  • dynamic
  • on-the-job learning
  • creative industries
  • customer service
  • sectors
  • suitable
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