Employers should give staff at least four weeks holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

like to have employees who have good yields, so a group of people believe that the most important factor is that CEOs give at least four weeks' holiday to their workers. I subscribe to
this
idea owing to the fact that vacations are the best
time
for not only refreshment but
also
solving health problems. On the one hand, if workers have a good
time
for their vacation, they will do a range of works that help them to refresh their minds from a majority of problems and go to
work
with high energy.
In other words
, the holiday is the
time
for doing
work
such
as travelling, creating handicrafts, going to nature for relaxation and so on;
therefore
, they regenerate their energy and have good efficiency in their job.
On the other hand
, it is crucial that most population either
work
in the factories that manufacture a lot of toxic gases or
work
in the office for a long
time
;
additionally
, in these kinds of communities when working a lot will have a range of physical issues like cancer, breathing ills, and back pain, so the best way that helps them to solve these problems is that they have some vacations.
For example
, people who
work
in a place with high dangerous gases can travel to the woodland to breathe fresh air for a
time
;
furthermore
, populations who sit a long
time
in a chair can do a range of exercises that are not able to do when they
work
in the free times for treating.
To sum up
, vacation is the best item that helps businesses to have good yield inasmuch as with
this
work
employees find the
time
to become more active and solve their physical illnesses.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly presents your position with a brief overview of the main points.
task achievement
The conclusion could summarize main points and restate the position more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Attempt to seamlessly incorporate transitions between ideas for smoother flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view with clear stance on the importance of vacation for employees' productivity and health.
task achievement
There are well-supported points with examples illustrating the benefits of vacations.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally well-organized and points are presented logically.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • rejuvenate
  • efficiency
  • mental health
  • burnout
  • stress
  • well-being
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • job satisfaction
  • employee retention
  • turnover rates
  • physical health
  • sick leave
  • work-life balance
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