IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: • explain which course you are interested in • say what you know about the university • explain why you should receive the scholarship

#scholarship #program #study #university #course
Dear Sir or Madam, I'm writing
this
 letter to get a chance to get a scholarship by applying to
program
Add an article
the program
a program
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. I would like
participate
Fix the infinitive
to participate
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 you on
Correct article usage
the learn
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learn
Change the form of the verb
learning
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 language course because I have wanted to learn many languages since I was young and I guess I have a knack for
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. Your university is very famous and many students study there. In my opinion, all students want to study here like me because I heard that your university offers good scholarships to students. In the school, I won many prizes in lots of
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
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. That's why, I think so I am a highly viable candidate for
this
 scholarship. I hope you read my letter attentively and I am waiting for your
think
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
. Yours faithfully, Shabnam
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state which specific language course you are interested in taking at the university; this will strengthen your application by demonstrating clarity and purpose.
coherence cohesion
Separate ideas into distinct paragraphs. For example, details about your interest in the language course and the reasons you're a good candidate for the scholarship should be in different paragraphs.
task achievement
Polish your sentences for grammar and vocabulary accuracy. For example, 'I have a knack for learn language' should be 'I have a knack for learning languages.'
coherence cohesion
Your closing is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for this type of letter.
task achievement
You have included good key points such as explaining your interest in the course and mentioning your achievements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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