More and more people are becoming overweight. Some people suggest that increasing the price of fattening food is a solution, to what extent do you agree or disagree?
is not sufficient. İf that increasing the price so negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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for some
low wage
Add a hyphen
low-wage
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earners.
Body paragraph 1
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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should research for underlying the
increased
Replace the word
increase
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overweight
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. I guess,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
move less with developing
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have
home-office
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a home-office
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style after the pandemic.
As a result
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
usually prefer comfort.
Body paragraph 2
My
suggest
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suggestion
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is more teaching
harm
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the harm
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and
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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of
the
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apply
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all food.
People
Use synonyms
should know
the
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apply
show examples
more information
that
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about
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topics
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the topics
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.
Different
Correct article usage
A different
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suggest
Replace the word
suggestion
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is the government should encourage
over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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to exercise with expert
people
Use synonyms
. They should organise the events on the line or in the park.
Conclusion
Finally
Linking Words
, high price
politicas
Correct your spelling
politics
not
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, not
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the solution
everyone
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for everyone
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. I think
,
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apply
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government
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the government
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should find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
different solution.
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task achievement
Work on making your argument clearer. For instance, you can provide concrete examples of how educating people about healthy eating and encouraging physical activity can be effective solutions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Linking phrases such as 'in addition', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand' can enhance the flow.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position and offers alternative solutions to the problem.
coherence cohesion
Important points, such as the impact of increased food prices on low-wage earners and the influence of technology on lifestyle, are well-identified.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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