Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
have different views as to whether it is the responsibility of individuals to protect themselves when any crimes occur. In my perspective, despite it is the duty of people
to look after themselves in this
case, I firmly believe that the majority of responsibility is laid on the government
side.
On the one hand, there is one main aspect why
it is the obligation of citizens to take care of themselves when crimes happen. One of the major points is that it is impossible for the authorities to protect them all the time . Generally, all Change preposition
of why
people
would like to be secured
in all circumstances, but the authorities have various essential matters to deal with Replace the word
secure
such
as improving public infrastructures, developing education, ensuring public welfare, and increasing health care. As a result
, some fundamental securuties
Correct your spelling
securities
such
as staying informed, being aware of their surrounding
, Replace the word
surroundings
installing
security systems would indirectly relieve the Correct word choice
and installing
government
's burden.
On the other hand
, there are two main reasons that the government
should take more serious actions to prevent crime
in society. Firstly
, it is the principle
role of the Correct your spelling
principal
government
to guarantee the well-being of residents since the government
has the power, which is given by people
from the election, to ensure their safeness
. Replace the word
safety
This
means that the government
can appropriately utilize the power of law for crime
prevention, punishing a person who commits the crime
. In doing so, it would reduce criminal activities in the country.
In conclusion, although
it is the common duty of people
to protect themselves, I am convinced that the government
should be reliable for people
when it comes to the case of crimes.
1. the principle
role of gov
2. duty of Correct your spelling
principal
government
to ensure well-being
of Add an article
the well-being
people
/ the gove has the authority given by people
to ensure their Correct your spelling
safeness
softness
safiness
3. they can use the power of law to punish
4. reduce Correct your spelling
safety
crime
rateSubmitted by pandin21 on
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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and that there are no misspellings. For example, check the word 'securuties' which should be 'securities'.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and elaborate on the final paragraph to provide a stronger conclusion. A summarization of the key points discussed can enhance the readability and completeness of the essay.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introductory paragraph and a logical conclusion that summarizes your opinion well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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