Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #goverment #crime #prevention #individuals #responsibility #pretocet

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Some claim that community members should take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibility for their safety,

while

others insist on the government's intervention to provide them with safety. I tend to approve of the latter approach as it can be more practical.

Proponent

Fix the agreement mistake

Proponents

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of the

authorities'supervision

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authorities supervision

over population

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overpopulation

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put forth a number of justifications, one of which is for the government to take

the

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apply

show examples

control of

the

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apply

show examples

society in

ligall

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legal

ways. Doing so can diminish the crime rate as offenders may realize the punitive consequences of misconducted

behaviores

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behaviour

encouraging them to

hestiate

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hesitate

and rethink

about

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apply

show examples

commiting

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committing

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a misdemeanor

show examples

misdemeanor

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misdemeanors

show examples

For instance

, introducing some strict penalties for those who are carrying

arm

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arms

show examples

fire can lead to

less

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fewer

show examples

street crimes and murders. Another explanation is

peace

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the peace

show examples

and

vibancy

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vibrancy

of the whole territory leading to

Correct article usage

a florishing

show examples

florishing

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flourishing

economy and more contentment. Take Dubie, which is

knwon

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known

to be one of the safest areas, many

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apply

show examples

funders have

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the

show examples

inclination to reside

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apply

show examples

there and invest capital there conducive to

morewelfare

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more welfare

. I tend to adopt a strong stance in

favore

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favour

the

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of the

show examples

mentioned mindset as

lows

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laws

show examples

and

regulation

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regulations

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have pivotal

effect

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effects

show examples

the

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apply

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modern megacities

due to

their preventive nature. It is owing to the fact that

absence

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the absence

show examples

of sufficient

lows

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laws

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for criminal

actvities

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activities

is highly likely to prone the community to weakness as chaotic situations may pave the way for professional criminals to abuse the regular

cititzens

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citizens

On the other hand

, holders of the idea

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that

show examples

which

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apply

show examples

residents should shoulder their protection responsibility contend that individuals should be capable of defending themselves in

emergency

Add an article

an emergency

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when an immediate response is

need

Wrong verb form

needed

show examples

. to

illustarte

Correct your spelling

illustrate

, in case of street crimes

such

as robbery self-defence can be essential. It is contended that it is of great importance to train children in self-protection fields.

However

, It seems that

such

trend

Correct article usage

a trend

show examples

can undermine the

diginity

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dignity

and power of the police and government and deteriorate

the

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apply

show examples

societal cohesion. To recapitulate, it can be deduced that the more

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

prioritize

Correct subject-verb agreement

prioritizes

show examples

the safety of

dwelers

Correct your spelling

dwellers

, the more satisfaction and promotion will be provided.

Submitted by samirakasraee72 on Thu Aug 08 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the clarity and coherence of your arguments. While your essay addresses the topic comprehensively, transitions between ideas can be smoother. Connecting sentences and paragraphs naturally will make your argument stronger.

task achievement

Develop your examples further. For instance, when mentioning strict penalties for carrying firearms, elaborate on how specific penalties have succeeded or failed in real-world scenarios. More detailed examples can provide stronger support for your arguments.

task achievement

Focus on the grammatical accuracy and logical flow of your sentences. Though most of your writing is understandable, aiming for meticulous editing will eliminate minor errors (e.g., spelling mistakes, subject-verb agreement). Reading your essay aloud may help identify awkward phrasing.

introduction and conclusion

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting a strong foundation for your essay. This is crucial for engaging the reader and guiding them through your arguments.

supported main points

You successfully examine both sides of the debate before presenting your opinion. This balance exhibits a well-rounded understanding of the topic, which is crucial for IELTS Task 2 essays.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

332 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

legislation
law enforcement
social programs
comprehensive strategies
personal responsibility
proactive measures
security systems
community-based initiatives
neighborhood watch
workshops
socioeconomic factors
crime rates
underlying issues
poverty
education
unemployment

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Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?