Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some claim that community members should take
the
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apply
show examples
responsibility for their safety,
while
others insist on the government's intervention to provide them with safety. I tend to approve of the latter approach as it can be more practical.
Proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
Proponents
show examples
of the
authorities'supervision
Correct your spelling
authorities supervision
over population
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overpopulation
show examples
put forth a number of justifications, one of which is for the government to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control of
the
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apply
show examples
society in
ligall
Correct your spelling
legal
ways. Doing so can diminish the crime rate as offenders may realize the punitive consequences of misconducted
behaviores
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behaviour
encouraging them to
hestiate
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hesitate
and rethink
about
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apply
show examples
commiting
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committing
Correct article usage
a misdemeanor
show examples
misdemeanor
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misdemeanors
show examples
.
For instance
, introducing some strict penalties for those who are carrying
arm
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arms
show examples
fire can lead to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
street crimes and murders. Another explanation is
peace
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the peace
show examples
and
vibancy
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vibrancy
of the whole territory leading to
Correct article usage
a florishing
show examples
florishing
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flourishing
economy and more contentment. Take Dubie, which is
knwon
Correct your spelling
known
to be one of the safest areas, many
of
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apply
show examples
funders have
an
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the
show examples
inclination to reside
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there and invest capital there conducive to
morewelfare
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more welfare
. I tend to adopt a strong stance in
favore
Correct your spelling
favour
the
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of the
show examples
mentioned mindset as
lows
Correct your spelling
laws
show examples
and
regulation
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regulations
show examples
have pivotal
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
in
the
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apply
show examples
modern megacities
due to
their preventive nature. It is owing to the fact that
absence
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the absence
show examples
of sufficient
lows
Correct your spelling
laws
show examples
for criminal
actvities
Correct your spelling
activities
is highly likely to prone the community to weakness as chaotic situations may pave the way for professional criminals to abuse the regular
cititzens
Correct your spelling
citizens
.
On the other hand
, holders of the idea
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
residents should shoulder their protection responsibility contend that individuals should be capable of defending themselves in
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
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when an immediate response is
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
. to
illustarte
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, in case of street crimes
such
as robbery self-defence can be essential. It is contended that it is of great importance to train children in self-protection fields.
However
, It seems that
such
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
can undermine the
diginity
Correct your spelling
dignity
and power of the police and government and deteriorate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societal cohesion. To recapitulate, it can be deduced that the more
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
prioritize
Correct subject-verb agreement
prioritizes
show examples
the safety of
dwelers
Correct your spelling
dwellers
, the more satisfaction and promotion will be provided.
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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the clarity and coherence of your arguments. While your essay addresses the topic comprehensively, transitions between ideas can be smoother. Connecting sentences and paragraphs naturally will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Develop your examples further. For instance, when mentioning strict penalties for carrying firearms, elaborate on how specific penalties have succeeded or failed in real-world scenarios. More detailed examples can provide stronger support for your arguments.
task achievement
Focus on the grammatical accuracy and logical flow of your sentences. Though most of your writing is understandable, aiming for meticulous editing will eliminate minor errors (e.g., spelling mistakes, subject-verb agreement). Reading your essay aloud may help identify awkward phrasing.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting a strong foundation for your essay. This is crucial for engaging the reader and guiding them through your arguments.
supported main points
You successfully examine both sides of the debate before presenting your opinion. This balance exhibits a well-rounded understanding of the topic, which is crucial for IELTS Task 2 essays.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • legislation
  • law enforcement
  • social programs
  • comprehensive strategies
  • personal responsibility
  • proactive measures
  • security systems
  • community-based initiatives
  • neighborhood watch
  • workshops
  • socioeconomic factors
  • crime rates
  • underlying issues
  • poverty
  • education
  • unemployment
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