IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The movement of people from agricultural areas to big cities caused problems im both palces. In your oponion, what is the reason for this problem? How can it be solved?

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Moving from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to
metropolition
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 become a big problem
.urbanisation
Correct your spelling
Urbanisation
 is affected by various facilities
such
Linking Words
 as educational, medical and employment. But due
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 there are many problems
has been
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 arisen , the biggest one is pollution. The
government
Use synonyms
 should take
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
essential steps to tackle
dowm
Correct your spelling
down
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in rural
Use synonyms
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
 there is a big problem
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the transport services which directly
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
belongs
Change the verb form
belong
show examples
 to
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
need
Correct pronoun usage
who need
show examples
 to go from
jne
Correct your spelling
one
 place to another ,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 hard .
Seondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, education is much better over there as compared to rural
areas
Use synonyms
 , smart classes and tuition are available easily in urban
areas
Use synonyms
. In case of
emergency
Add a comma
emergency,
show examples
 there is
facility
Add an article
a facility
the facility
show examples
 to treat major disease
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 for that purpose
people
Use synonyms
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to go to
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 in
cities
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 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation which is less available. The
government
Use synonyms
 should need to focus
to develop
Change preposition
on developing
show examples
 more hospitals and buildings in villages so they can easily
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 the services and more installations of public transport.
With
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 not only
easy
Add a missing verb
be easy
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will helpful for
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 as well for
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth .
Overall
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more facilities in
cities
Use synonyms
 offer
people
Use synonyms
 to
mive
Correct your spelling
move
big
Change preposition
to big
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 .
Government
Use synonyms
 must
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to focus on small
areas
Use synonyms
 as well to improve the lifestyle of rural
areas
Use synonyms
.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. Your essay lacked a proper introduction to frame the problem and a concise conclusion to summarize your points.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples and details to support your ideas. For instance, you could mention specific cities or rural areas you are referring to, or provide statistics and data to strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should have one main idea supported by examples and explanations. Avoid jumping from one point to another without proper transitions.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on improving clarity by avoiding grammatical errors and ensuring proper sentence structure. Proofread your work to eliminate simple mistakes.
complete response
Your essay identified key problems that result from urbanization, such as pollution and lack of facilities in rural areas.
supported main points
You suggested specific solutions, such as developing public transport and building more hospitals in rural areas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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