The movement of people from agricultural areas to big cities caused problems im both palces. In your oponion, what is the reason for this problem? How can it be solved?
Moving from rural
areas
to metropolition
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
cities
have been
become a big problem Wrong verb form
has
.urbanisation
is affected by various facilities Correct your spelling
Urbanisation
such
as educational, medical and employment. But due this
there are many problems Change preposition
to this
has been
arisen , the biggest one is pollution. The Wrong verb form
have
government
should take an
essential steps to tackle Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
dowm
Correct your spelling
down
this
problem.
Firstly
, in rural areas
there is a big problem Add a comma
areas,
for
the transport services which directly Change preposition
with
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
people
who belongs
to Change the verb form
belong
village
Correct article usage
the village
need
to go from Correct pronoun usage
who need
jne
place to another , Correct your spelling
one
its
hard . Replace the word
it's
it is
Seondly
, education is much better over there as compared to rural Correct your spelling
Secondly
areas
, smart classes and tuition are available easily in urban areas
. In case of emergency
there is Add a comma
emergency,
facility
to treat major disease Add an article
a facility
the facility
condition
for that purpose Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
people
needs
to go to Change the verb form
need
hospital
in Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
cities
by the
transportation which is less available.
The Correct article usage
apply
government
should need to focus to develop
more hospitals and buildings in villages so they can easily Change preposition
on developing
acces
the services and more installations of public transport. Correct your spelling
access
With
Correct word choice
This
this
not only easy
for Add a missing verb
be easy
people
but also
it
will helpful for Correct pronoun usage
apply
government
as well for Add an article
the government
economical
growth .
Replace the word
economic
Overall
, due to
more facilities in Change preposition
apply
cities
offer people
to mive
Correct your spelling
move
big
Change preposition
to big
cities
. Government
must needs
to focus on small Change the verb form
need
areas
as well to improve the lifestyle of rural areas
.Submitted by harjass308 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. Your essay lacked a proper introduction to frame the problem and a concise conclusion to summarize your points.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples and details to support your ideas. For instance, you could mention specific cities or rural areas you are referring to, or provide statistics and data to strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should have one main idea supported by examples and explanations. Avoid jumping from one point to another without proper transitions.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on improving clarity by avoiding grammatical errors and ensuring proper sentence structure. Proofread your work to eliminate simple mistakes.
complete response
Your essay identified key problems that result from urbanization, such as pollution and lack of facilities in rural areas.
supported main points
You suggested specific solutions, such as developing public transport and building more hospitals in rural areas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.