You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job . You think he / she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend . In your letter : • say why he/ she would not enjoy going to college • explain why getting a job is good idea for him / her • suggest types of job that would be suitable for him / her
Dear Jasmina,
I hope you're doing well. I am writing to you to give some advice because I have recently received a letter from you .
I think you should get a
job
. Because you would not enjoy going to college
. You are not interested in college
manuals and you are only interested in an earn
money.
As I personally know you , you'd not enjoy going to Wrong verb form
earning
college
right now because you're
always wanted to Correct your spelling
you've
work
and what letter time can it be to work
than now ?
Firstly
, as I know you personally you always like to work
and improve your career. Movever
, going to Correct your spelling
Moreover
college
, especially, an
technology Change the article
a
college
, wouldn't be beneficial for you because you would only meet people who are around your age speak
the same language.
I think you don't need Correct word choice
and speak
study
. You must be getting a Fix the infinitive
to study
job
and I will help you. You are very interested in earn
a lot of money and Change the verb form
earning
also
your family very
poor . You have to help your family. You need to find a very good Add a missing verb
is very
job
because nowadays there are many dangerous jobs that are dangerous for girls. You should only work
in restaurant
or cafe . I believe Correct article usage
a restaurant
that is
a professional that does not pose any danger for
Change preposition
to
girl
. I will try Add an article
a girl
the girl
so
find a good and wonderful restaurant or cafe for you , you know, because I am very busy Correct your spelling
to
there
days . I know you haven't any Correct your spelling
these
work
experience but firstly
, a good idea to find a small job
such
as a witness and retails
kind of Wrong verb form
retail
job
.
I hope my suggestion will help you device
what is best for you.
Yours sincerely,
Baxtinur KholliyevaCorrect your spelling
decide
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph contains a single idea. For example, separate the points about not enjoying college and why getting a job is a good idea into different paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
In terms of logical structure, consider organizing the letter so that each main point flows in a logical sequence. Start by stating your main point, then explore the reasons in detail, and finally offer suggestions.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, making the letter feel personal and friendly.
task achievement
You responded completely to the task, addressing why your friend might not enjoy college, why getting a job is a good idea, and suggesting suitable types of jobs.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate for a friendly piece of advice, maintaining a supportive and concerned tone throughout.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.