Some people believe that technology has made people’s lives easier while others think the opposite. Which do you believe and why? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

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In recent years, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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great advancements in terms of
technology
.
While
some
people
argue that
technology
is a boon and has contributed a lot
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
improving
lives
, others believe that it's a bane. The course of
this
essay will discuss both the arguments and explain why I believe
technology
, on balance, has made life easier.
Technology
plays a significant role in today's era and has undoubtedly contributed in many ways to make peoples'
lives
easier. One of the most revolutionary
development
Change to a plural noun
developments
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in terms of
technology
is
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
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.
People
of all ages, from
teenager
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teenagers
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to the elderly, everyone
owns
Correct subject-verb agreement
own
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a smartphone.
This
advancement has not only enhanced communication but
also
facilitated instant access to information, entertainment and various services, thereby improving
overall
convenience and connectivity.
Additionaly
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Additionally
,
growth
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the growth
show examples
of technologies
such
as
satellite
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satellites
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and GPS
had
Wrong verb form
has
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contrubited
Correct your spelling
contributed
largely
in
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to
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making peoples'
lives
easier. They can simply navigate to any location without being dependent on anyone for assistance.
Furthermore
, rapid development of Artificial Intelligence (AI) has begun to transform numerous aspects of
lives
. As every coin has two sides,
techology definetely
Correct your spelling
technology definitely
has
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
drawbacks too.
Increase
Correct article usage
The increase
show examples
in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of social media
platform
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platforms
show examples
has resulted in
people
being addicted.
For example
,
number
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the number
show examples
of Instagram users has increased to over 82% ever since it was first launched.
People
spend most of their time aimlessly scrolling the screen of their phones.
Morever
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Moreover
,
smarphones
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smartphones
coming into
picture
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the picture
show examples
has
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have
show examples
also
reduced social interaction among
people
,
thus
resulting
problems
Change preposition
in problems
show examples
like potential isolation. Children spend
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of their time playing games on
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and mobile phones rather than going out to play.
This
is hindering the process of their physical and mental growth. In conclusion,
technology
offers distinct advantages
such
as enhanced connectivity and
convenience
Correct article usage
the convenience
show examples
of having information at our
finger tips
Correct your spelling
fingertips
show examples
whether it's news from around the globe or access to various services.
However
, it
also
comes with its own set of challenges, including issues like addiction and potential privacy concerns. In my opinion, using
the
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apply
show examples
technology
in a regulated and mindful way can bring remarkable benefits to society, maximising
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
positive impact
while
mitigating
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
drawbacks.
Submitted by bhutani.trisha09 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion. It would be beneficial to further develop some of your points with more specific examples and data to enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'definetely' should be 'definitely', 'contrubited' should be 'contributed', and 'techology' should be 'technology'.
coherence cohesion
You could improve the variety of your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Try incorporating a mix of short, impactful sentences and longer, explanatory ones.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your argument from start to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduce the topic and provide a balanced discussion of both views before concluding with your own perspective, which displays a thorough understanding of the prompt.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the impact of smartphones and social media, is effective in supporting your arguments.
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