IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that technology has made people’s lives easier while others think the opposite. Which do you believe and why? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

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In recent years, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 great advancements in terms of
technology
Use synonyms
.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that
technology
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 is a boon and has contributed a lot
in
Change preposition
to
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 improving
lives
Use synonyms
, others believe that it's a bane. The course of
this
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 essay will discuss both the arguments and explain why I believe
technology
Use synonyms
, on balance, has made life easier.
Technology
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 plays a significant role in today's era and has undoubtedly contributed in many ways to make peoples'
lives
Use synonyms
 easier. One of the most revolutionary
development
Change to a plural noun
developments
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 in terms of
technology
Use synonyms
 is
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
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.
People
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 of all ages, from
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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 to the elderly, everyone
owns
Correct subject-verb agreement
own
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 a smartphone.
This
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 advancement has not only enhanced communication but
also
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 facilitated instant access to information, entertainment and various services, thereby improving
overall
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 convenience and connectivity.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of technologies
such
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 as
satellite
Fix the agreement mistake
satellites
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 and GPS
had
Wrong verb form
has
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contrubited
Correct your spelling
contributed
 largely
in
Change preposition
to
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 making peoples'
lives
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 easier. They can simply navigate to any location without being dependent on anyone for assistance.
Furthermore
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, rapid development of Artificial Intelligence (AI) has begun to transform numerous aspects of
lives
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. As every coin has two sides,
techology definetely
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technology definitely
 has
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 drawbacks too.
Increase
Correct article usage
The increase
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 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 has resulted in
people
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 being addicted.
For example
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,
number
Change the article
the number
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 of Instagram users has increased to over 82% ever since it was first launched.
People
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 spend most of their time aimlessly scrolling the screen of their phones.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
smarphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
 coming into
picture
Add an article
the picture
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
also
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 reduced social interaction among
people
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,
thus
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 resulting
problems
Change preposition
in problems
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 like potential isolation. Children spend
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of their time playing games on
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 and mobile phones rather than going out to play.
This
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 is hindering the process of their physical and mental growth. In conclusion,
technology
Use synonyms
 offers distinct advantages
such
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 as enhanced connectivity and
convenience
Correct article usage
the convenience
show examples
 of having information at our
finger tips
Correct your spelling
fingertips
show examples
 whether it's news from around the globe or access to various services.
However
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, it
also
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 comes with its own set of challenges, including issues like addiction and potential privacy concerns. In my opinion, using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
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 in a regulated and mindful way can bring remarkable benefits to society, maximising
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 positive impact
while
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 mitigating
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 drawbacks.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion. It would be beneficial to further develop some of your points with more specific examples and data to enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'definetely' should be 'definitely', 'contrubited' should be 'contributed', and 'techology' should be 'technology'.
coherence cohesion
You could improve the variety of your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Try incorporating a mix of short, impactful sentences and longer, explanatory ones.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your argument from start to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduce the topic and provide a balanced discussion of both views before concluding with your own perspective, which displays a thorough understanding of the prompt.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the impact of smartphones and social media, is effective in supporting your arguments.
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